The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market.
Sample Response
The provided bar graph depicts the number of Japanese travellers who visited foreign countries from 1985 to 1995, whereas the line graph gives information on the Australia’s share of the Japanese tourist marketmarket share of Australia on Japan’s tourism sector. As shown in the bar graphAs is presented in the bar graph, in 1985, about 5 million people from Japan travelled abroad. Interestingly, this figure hadwas tripled by 1995by the end of next decade (about 15.5 million in 199515million in 19995). During this period the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad increasedthe trend of Japanese tourers travelling abroad increased until 1990up to the year 1990. Then, in 1991 this figure fell slightlythis number was slightly reduced and after that, the number rose graduallyafter that, a gradual increase was observed until 1995. The line graph showsAs can be seen vividly, in 1985, Australia’s share stood at 2 percent of the Japanese tourist marketAustralia’s share remained 2 percent of Japanese tourists. Furthermore, a gradual increase was observed until 1988. But in 1989, this percentage fellreduced slightly and the share then increased againafter that again increment in share was observed and this trend continued until 1993, whenthis trend lasted till 1993 and that time Australia’s share was just over 6 percentbeyond 6 percent. Eventually, the percentage fell to 6 percentbecame equal to 6 in 1994. In conclusion, Japanese touriststourist travelled abroad throughout the decade and over the same periodin same decade Australia’s share of the Japanese tourist marketAustralia’s share of Japanese tourists also increased.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response captures the upward long-term movement in both charts and includes several accurate milestones, with the dip in each series correctly noted. Its main weakness is that the overview is imprecise for outbound travel, while the one-paragraph structure, awkward collocations, and recurring grammatical slips reduce polish. Prioritise a precise overview comparing both trends, then organise the two charts into separate, clearly controlled detail paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response covers both charts and reports their principal rises, temporary dips, and several accurate values, but the concluding overview does not clearly summarise the strong growth in outbound travel.
State explicitly that outbound travel roughly tripled while Australia's share also rose overall, and correct the mistaken reference to the next decade.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow the charts in a generally logical sequence and linking is clear, but presenting the entire report as one paragraph weakens organisation.
Use a separate overview followed by one detail paragraph for each chart so the progression is immediately visible.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for describing trends, but several collocations are awkward or imprecise, including market share on a sector and increment in share.
Use natural combinations such as Australia's share of the market, increased gradually, and fell slightly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of complex and simple forms conveys the trends clearly, although article, agreement, tense, and passive-form errors recur throughout.
Edit each sentence for articles and agreement, and use active trend verbs instead of awkward passive forms such as was slightly reduced.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.