The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
Sample Response
The line graph depicts the percentage of senior citizens, who are aged 65 and overolder than 65 years, over a 100-year periodover a century in three countries, namely, the United Statesnamely- the United States, Sweden and Japan, from 1940 to 2040, including projectionsfrom 1940 and also gives projection till 2040. A glance at the graph makes it clear that Japan will have the highest proportion of older peoplemore percentage of the aged population in the future despite its lowest proportionits fewer percentage of this population in 1940in the early 40s and one-fourth of the world population will be older people in 2040. The illustration shows that the proportions of older peoplethe average old population in 1940 was between 5% and 10%between 5 to 10 percent in all three countriesin all the three countries and the USA had the highest percentage of aged people while it was lowest in Japan. The proportion of older people in the USAThe ageing population in the USA grew steadily and reached about 15% in 1980 before easing to roughly 14% by 2000reached up to 15% in the year 2000. It is expected to riseexpected to be doubled and reach roughly 23% in 2040reach nearly 25% in 2040. Similarly, in Sweden, the percentage of aged people grew from about 7% in 1940 to 15% in 2000 and is heading towards 25% in 2040. In contrast, the aged population in Japan remained the lowest, which was below 5% until around 2000 and is expectedless than 5% until 2005 and expected to grow and reach the highest point, about 27%about 30 percentage, in 2040. The graph clearly reveals that the ratio of aged population will increase in 2040 and almost one of every four citizens in these three countries would be over 65 years old in 2040.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies the central long-term pattern that Japan rises from the lowest starting point to the highest projected proportion and provides figures for all three countries. However, it inaccurately places the US level of 15% in 2000, overlooks important fluctuations, and wrongly refers to the world's population. The highest-priority improvement is to trace each line's turning points accurately and keep every generalisation limited to the three countries shown.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A relevant overview and the main endpoints are provided, but several data claims are inaccurate and intermediate rises, falls, and plateaus are insufficiently selected.
Report the US peak around 1980 and plateau near 14%, Sweden's fluctuations, and Japan's sharp late surge using accurate dates and values.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report progresses from an overview to country-specific details and a concluding comparison, but the single-paragraph presentation limits structural clarity.
Separate the overview from two detail paragraphs that compare earlier movements and projected changes.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate vocabulary for proportions and projections, but repeated awkward phrases such as more percentage and 30 percentage reduce precision.
Use natural forms such as a higher proportion, percentage points, was projected to reach, and people aged 65 and over.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted and meaning remains clear, though article, agreement, tense, preposition, and comparison errors occur regularly.
Check comparative noun phrases and future projections carefully, using consistent tense and complete clause structures.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
Your response
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