The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
Sample Response
The line graph illustrates the percentage of citizens aged 65 or abovecitizens who aged 65 or above in three different countriesthree various nations from 1940 to 2040.
Overall, it is clearly shown that the proportion of the population aged 65 or abovepopulation who aged 65 or above in the USA and Sweden is projected to increase overall from 1940 to 2040, with some intervening declinesincreases from 1940 to 2040 with slight drops in between whereas the figure for Japan declines until about 1960 and then remains stable to 1980that in Japan decreases starting from 1940 to 1980 before a sharp rise in the number of elderly people in that country.
Initially, in 1940, there was a higher percentage of older people living in the USA (just below 10%) than in Swedenthan Sweden (around 7%), it was then followed by Japan with only 5%. In the USA, there was an increasing trend in the proportion of elderly people from 1940 to 1980 and decreased slightly. However, it is predicted that the US figurethe figure for this is projected to rise to about 23% by 2040will eventually rise until 2040. A similar pattern can also be observed for Swedenthe result obtained in Sweden, the figure for the percentage of older people increases from 1940 to 2040 with two gradual dips from 1980 to 1990 and from 2010 to about 2030from 2010 to 2025.
Turning to Japan, it is apparent that there was a slight decline in the proportion of older people from 1940 to about 1960, followed by a long period of stabilityfrom 1940 to 1990 before it showed an upward trend. The graph indicates thatIt is believed that the figure will soar dramatically from 2030 onwards and reach its highest levelreached its peak in 2040. Lastly, Japan will become the country with the highest proportion of elderly peoplecountry with most elderly people among the three nations while the USA will have the lowest proportionand USA is the least.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response provides a clear overview, correctly identifies the long-term direction in all three countries, and makes useful comparisons at the beginning and end of the period. Its main limitation is that most intermediate changes are described without supporting figures, while some timings are only approximate. The priority is to add a small set of accurate milestone values, especially for the projected Swedish decline and Japan’s post-2030 surge.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and principal national trends are accurate, with useful initial and final comparisons, although intermediate data are insufficiently quantified.
Support the main rises and falls with selected milestone figures, particularly Sweden’s peak and decline and Japan’s dramatic late increase.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organized into an overview and country-focused paragraphs, and its progression is generally easy to follow.
Avoid comma splices and make each sentence carry one clearly sequenced comparison or trend.
Lexical Resource
A sufficient range of trend vocabulary is used, but several expressions such as “citizens who aged” and “result obtained” are awkward or imprecise.
Use natural chart phrases such as “people aged 65 and over,” “the proportion rose,” and “the figure is projected to reach.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but recurring agreement, tense, article, and sentence-boundary errors reduce grammatical control.
Maintain consistent tense for historical and projected data and check agreement in relative clauses and comparative sentences.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.