The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
Sample Response
The given graph compares the average time spentspend on unpaid workworks per week by married men and married women with different numbers of childrenhaving a different number of children. This unpaid workThis nonpaid works mostly involve activities such asactivities and tasks like cooking, cleaning, taking care of children, housework, and gardening. Turning to the detailsNow turning back to the details, women without children spend 30 hours per week on unpaid activities, while men in this category domen, from this category, do around 18 hours unpaid tasks per weekin seven days. It is noticeable that with the increasing number of children women's hours of unpaid workthe unpaid working hours for women increase significantly while they remainwhile it remains almost the same for men. This difference between the duration of unpaid household worknonpaid household works done by men and women increases substantiallylargely rises with the number of childrenoffsprings. Women do about 52 and 58 hours of unpaid activities respectively per week, while, men do fewer hours, approximately 18 and 16 hours a week. In conclusion, it is clear that women devote far more time todedicate far time on unpaid work than men. In addition, the higher the number of children, the greaternumber of offsprings, bigger the amount of work for women. However, the number of children has little effect on men's average totalit does not influence the average hours of men. In fact, men's total drops slightlyit drops a little, as the number of children increases.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response clearly identifies the central gender contrast and the opposing patterns as family size rises, supported by figures for all three categories. Its main limitation is that it gives no reasons despite the task explicitly requesting them, and several grammatical and collocational errors weaken precision. Add concise, plausible explanations for the patterns, then edit noun forms, comparisons, and verb structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The key trends and category comparisons are clearly identified, but some figures are imprecise and the required reasons for the patterns are entirely omitted.
Add plausible reasons for the gender difference and check the final values against the chart, especially roughly 60 hours for women and 18 for men.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress clearly from the chart description through comparisons to a concluding overview, but the single paragraph weakens structural clarity.
Place the overview in its own paragraph and group the detailed comparisons into a separate body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary conveys the main comparisons, but recurring inaccurate forms and collocations such as unpaid works, offsprings, and dedicate far time limit precision.
Use natural forms such as unpaid work, children, and spend considerably more time.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures, but frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and comparative constructions reduce accuracy.
Proofread each comparison for correct forms, such as time spent, this unpaid work involves, and the greater the amount of work.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.