The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
Sample Response
The given bar chartThe given line graph compares the hours of unpaid worknon-paid jobs done by men and womenmale and female with different numbers of children in an average week. As is observed from the chartgraphs, women workworked significantly more hours than men for household tasks such asthe household works like childcare and gardeningchild caring, gardening etc. Also, the number of hourly works done as unpaid works got higher with the increase of child number. As the chart showsAs is presented in the line graph, married women work around 30 hours per week for unpaid household workhousehold unpaid works while men without childrenthe men from the same category do only about 18 hours of unpaid workwork for only 18 hours. The unpaid work done by womenThe works done by females with 1-2 children per week amounts to just over 50 hoursis more than 50 hours and with three or more children3 plus children, women do approximately 60 hoursthe work done by females is 60 hours. Interestingly, the volume of unpaid jobs done by males does not change with the number of childrenoffsprings they have except for the men with three or more childrenmore than three kids who do slightly less unpaid household workwho works even less unpaid household works. In conclusion, we can say that the volume of unpaid works like household works and child caring increases for women with the increase of their children's number but for men, this remains the same. And female works significantly more hours for that type of household works than the men do.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response clearly identifies the central comparison: women do substantially more unpaid work, and their hours rise sharply with the number of children while men's hours remain stable. Its main limitation is that it does not answer the explicit instruction to suggest reasons, and recurring grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. The priority is to add a brief, plausible explanation for the gender pattern while tightening sentence-level accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The principal gender contrast and category figures are covered accurately, but the required explanation for the pattern is entirely omitted.
Add a concise, plausible reason, such as women assuming a larger share of childcare and housework as family size grows.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress from overview to category details and a conclusion, but repetition and the lack of paragraph divisions make the organisation mechanical.
Place the overview, numerical comparisons and suggested reasons in distinct paragraphs and avoid restating the same conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The response has adequate topic vocabulary, but repeated unnatural forms such as "unpaid works", "child caring" and "offsprings" reduce precision.
Prefer standard terms such as "unpaid work", "childcare", "children" and "hours worked" throughout.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains clear, but frequent agreement, plural and article errors occur in both simple and complex sentences.
Check subject-verb agreement and countability carefully, especially forms such as "the work is", "men work" and "women work".
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.