The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999.
Sample Response
The given line graph compares the unemployment rates in the USA and Japan from March 1993 to March 1999.
As an overall trend, the USA succeeded to decrease its unemployment rate over the time while the scenario was completely reverse in Japan despite its initial ignorable rate of unemployment. As can be seen from the graphgiven illustration, the unemployment rate in the USA was just over 7% in March 1993 while it was less than 2.5% in Japan. However, the US rate continued to decreasethis rate kept on decreasing in the USA while the Japanese rate increasedit went up in Japan. By March 1995In two years, the percentage of jobless Americans fellfall to just below 5.5% while Japan's rate increasedwhile it increased in Japan and stood at 3.0% by the same pointat the same time. The opposite trend of the line graph depicts that unemployment rate in the USA gradually declined while increased in the case of Japan. The rates of joblessness in these two countries intersected in late 1998intersected between March 1998 and March 1999 when the unemployment rate in both countries was approximately 4.5%just about 4.5%. ByAt the end of 1998, the US unemployment ratepercentage of unemployment among the Americans fell below Japan'sbecame less than that of Japan. The graph shows thatThe data presents that unemployment ratejobless people’s percentage in the USA was just above 4.0%just above 4.0 in 1999 while this rate in Japan reached over 4.5%reached to over 4.5% which was more than doublemore than double than the initial unemployment rateinitial rate of their unemployment.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The report accurately identifies the opposing trends, supplies appropriate starting and ending figures, and locates the point at which the two rates converged. Its main weakness is expression: several comparisons repeat the same trend, while frequent unnatural phrases reduce precision. Prioritise concise chronological grouping and standard language for rises, falls, convergence, and percentages.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and key figures accurately capture the US decline, Japanese rise, convergence, and final reversal in relative position.
Add one concise reference to the fluctuations within each trend while avoiding repeated statements of the overall movement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves chronologically from starting levels to convergence and final values, but repeated trend descriptions weaken concision and progression.
Use an overview followed by one focused paragraph tracing both series across the period, removing duplicated comparisons.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of trend and comparison vocabulary, but several unnatural collocations make otherwise accurate reporting less precise.
Replace phrases such as 'succeeded to decrease', 'completely reverse', 'ignorable rate', and 'reached to' with standard graph language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains clear, but recurring errors with tense, articles, missing subjects, and comparative forms reduce grammatical accuracy.
Maintain past-tense reporting and correct forms such as 'fell', 'rose to', and 'more than double the initial rate'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999.
Your response
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