The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.
Sample Response
The diagram presents West Park Secondary School at three stages of its developmentthree different stages in its development: 1950, 1980 and 2010. As can be seen from the given illustration, the school underwent substantial redevelopmentwent through different changes. In 1950, the school was built near the main road and near the school, there was three housesa place for housing. A large areaAn extensive spot behind the school was occupied by a playgroundwas fixed for a playground, while the area south of the housesthe field behind the housing was farmland. By 1980, the housing area had been knocked down in order to build a science block and a car parka space for car parking. Moreover, a new sports field was established on the former sitein the exact area where the farmland had been, and it waswhere the farmland was and it is right next to the playground. In 2010, the school's main building and the science block remained unchangedwere still intact but the car parking area had been extended and it consumed a great portion of the sports field and playground. Over the period shownDuring the given time, the area around West Park Secondary School changedhas changed. In addition to a new science block, a larger car park was constructed and later extendedhas been constructed and extended. Hence, the areas allocated to the sports field and playground were reducedthe spot for the sports field and playground reduced.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response follows the three maps chronologically and accurately identifies the replacement of housing and farmland, the addition of the science block and car park, and the later reduction of outdoor areas. The main limitation is that the overview is delayed and one description suggests the car park directly consumed playground space. The highest-priority improvement is to open with a precise summary of the site's transformation and distinguish each reduced area accurately.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Most major changes across 1950, 1980, and 2010 are accurately selected, with a useful summary despite a minor spatial imprecision about the car park and playground.
State immediately that educational and parking facilities expanded while farmland, housing, and recreational space disappeared or contracted.
Coherence and Cohesion
The chronological sequence is easy to follow, but presenting the entire report as one paragraph weakens the separation of overview and details.
Use a short introduction and overview followed by separate detail paragraphs for 1950-1980 and 1980-2010.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary describes construction and land-use change with some flexibility, though several choices such as spot, fixed, and consumed are awkward.
Prefer precise map language such as occupied, replaced, retained, extended, and reduced in size.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied structures with generally good control, although tense consistency and a few clause and verb-form errors remain.
Maintain past-tense reporting throughout and ensure final summary clauses contain complete verb phrases.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.