Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
The mobile phone has become the most popular gadget in today’s world. Some people argue that the use of cell phonesusage of cell phones should be prohibited in public placesprohibited in the public places. Personally, I completely agree with this idea for several reasonsdue to many reasons.
In my opinion, there are many health and social problems that can occur as a result of using mobile phones in public places. Socially, a mobile phone can be described as an intrusive tool. It can disturb others while they are concentrating and reading in some places like libraries. Mobile phone etiquette is an important issue when a mobile phone rings during a moviewhen mobile ringing at movies or in the libraries. Users often speak loudlyspeak with loud volume and annoy other people nearbythe others people nearby. It has become common practice for places like bookshops and libraries to post a sign prohibiting mobile phone useprohibiting the usage of mobile phone. Also, many public trains offer 'quiet zones'a 'quiet zones ' where phone use is banned.
Another seriouslethal concern is health problems that can be causedthe health problems that can be caused by using cell phones in the public places. Firstly, I believe that there is a strong correlation between the usage of the mobile phone in the public places, like public transportation and an increased number of traffic accidentsincreased numbers of traffic accidents. Mobile phones have beenMobile have been a major distraction on the road even when using 'hands- free' system (talking without the involvement of the hands).Some studies have shown that talking on a phone while driving is asequally impairing as drinking and driving. Secondly, there are possible effects of radiationradiation impacts on the brain from the mobile phones, with an increased possibilitywith increased possibility of certain types of tumours in the long termin long - time, amongto persistent heavy users.
Finally, the signal of mobile phones can cause serious problems in some public places like hospitalshospital and public transport by interfering with the signal of medical and communication devices. Even in the public transport if any patient has an implanted heart devicewears implanted heart device, the mobile phone can interfere with it and the device could stop functioning completelyit could be stopped completely. So mobile phone can have fatal consequences for patients in the hospital and other public places.
In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, I believe that the use of cell phones in the public places should be prohibited completely.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and offers several relevant reasons, with particularly effective explanation of disruption in quiet public settings. Its main limitation is that some support is speculative or drifts from the stated public-place context, especially the driving and health claims. Prioritise developing fewer, directly relevant reasons with credible explanation and examples, while improving article use, agreement, and collocation accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and several relevant reasons are explained, although some health and driving claims are speculative or only loosely connected to the stated public-place ban.
Develop fewer reasons more fully with credible, directly relevant examples that clearly justify a ban in each named setting.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through distinct reasons and uses clear paragraphing, though some linking is mechanical and a few sentences connect awkwardly.
Use referencing and transitions more naturally to show precise relationships between claims, evidence, and consequences.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the topic, including terms such as intrusive, etiquette, impairing, and implanted, but inaccurate collocations and word forms recur.
Check noun phrases and collocations carefully, replacing unnatural combinations such as loud volume and lethal concern with precise alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument clearly, but recurring article, agreement, plural, and punctuation errors reduce control.
Edit each sentence for article use, subject-verb agreement, noun number, and spacing before adding further grammatical complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.