Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
It is true that some celebrities are known for their glamorous lifestyles rather than for the work they do. While I agree that these celebrities set a bad example for children, I believe that other famous people act as positive role models.
On the one hand, many people do achieve fame without really working for it. They may have inherited money from their parentsmoney from parents, married a famous or wealthy person, or appearedor they may have appeared in gossip magazines or on a reality TV programme. A clear example isA good example would be Paris Hilton, who is rich and famous for the wrong reasons. She spends her time attending parties and nightclubs, and her behaviour promotes the idea that appearance, glamour and a high media profilemedia profile are more important than hard work and good character. The message to young people is that success can be gained without effortsuccess can be achieved easily, and that school work is not necessary.
On the other hand, there are many celebritiesat least as many celebrities whose accomplishments make them excellent role models for young people. Actors, musicians and sports stars become role modelsfamous idols because they have worked hard and applied themselves to developingdevelop real skills and abilities. They demonstrate great effort, determination and ambition, which areis required for someone who wants to be truly successful in their chosen field. An example is the actor and martial artist Jackie Chan, who has become world famous through years of practice and hard work. This kind of self-made celebrity can inspire children to develop their talents through dedicationapplication and perseverance.
In conclusion, it seems to me that the influence of celebrities on young people can be positive as well as negative.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its balanced, fully developed argument, using well-chosen examples and consistently clear progression to support a nuanced position. Its main limitation is that the conclusion states the position more generally than the introduction and there is a minor agreement lapse; the highest-priority improvement is to make the final judgment equally explicit while preserving the essay’s precise, natural style.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly addresses the claim, establishes a clear nuanced position, and develops both sides with specific and convincing examples.
Restate the precise extent of agreement in the conclusion so the final judgment matches the clarity of the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically sequenced, paragraphing is effective, and cohesive devices guide the reader naturally without drawing attention to themselves.
Strengthen the final paragraph by briefly synthesizing the central contrast rather than giving only a general restatement.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and natural, with effective topic-specific language and only negligible lapses in expression.
Maintain this precision while varying occasional repeated terms such as famous and young people where a natural alternative fits.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence forms is used flexibly and accurately, with only a minor agreement lapse that does not affect clarity.
Check agreement carefully when a relative clause refers to a compound list, such as effort, determination, and ambition.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.