Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Nowadays, the purpose of education has changed in my country, Koreacountry - Korea. There are some peoplePeople who think that competition in children should be made, also others believe that children who are taught to co-operate as well as become more useful adults. There are advantages and disadvantages for both argumentsboth of the arguments. To begin with, what is good if a sense of competition m children is made? They could develop their abilities furtherdevelop themselves more and more as they learn and study a lot to win the competition. To prove this, in Korea, it is popular - even common now - to have a tutor who comes to student's house to teach extra lessonsextra pieces of study for a high feewith paying a lot of money. They learn faster than they dofaster than what they learn at school. Furthermore, during the vacations, students study abroad to learn English for a month instead of revisingrevise school work. If they have experiences such as studying abroadexperiments such as study abroad, it is one of the greatest plus points to go to the famous well-known high-school. Moreover, there are four major school examsfour big school exam and two national examinations to test students' level of studies. Generally, only the highest 40% can go to the prestigious high schoolsgood quaternary high schools and colleges. Children learn as much as they can, to win the competition to obtain good quality schools. On the other hand, as they are busy trying to enter these schoolsbusy to enter the schools and study individually with their own tutors, there are problems. They become selfish. They become uncaringcareless and don't help others a lot if it is about studies. There will be no cooperationno co-operations for them. Then, why are there companies for many people to work in? Each of them is clever, however, there are weak parts and strong parts for each person. To co-operate is to improve this part. People talk and listen to what others thinkwhat others thinking of and learn. That could also be a great opportunity to learn instead of learning alone with one teacher. In conclusion, I strongly agree thatagree with that children should be taught to co-operate rather than compete. Nobody is perfect. People learn together, work together to develop each other. Therefore, I want parents and teachers to educate children by focusing on cooperation rather than encouraging competition and ranking themconcentrating on co-operation, not compete and ranking them.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response addresses both perspectives and gives a clear preference for cooperation, with the Korean education context providing a sustained line of support. Its main limitation is that several examples are awkwardly connected to the precise question and the cooperation case is less fully developed, while frequent language errors reduce clarity. Prioritise developing each view through a direct claim, explanation, and clearly relevant example expressed in accurate sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are present, but the competition discussion is sometimes indirect and the cooperation case receives limited development.
Develop why each approach produces useful adults, using one directly relevant and fully explained example for each view.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses through the two views to a conclusion, although some links within paragraphs are abrupt or unclear.
Organise each body paragraph around one controlling idea and make every example explicitly support that idea.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss education and cooperation, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Replace awkward combinations such as making competition or pieces of study with natural, topic-appropriate collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms is attempted, but recurring errors with articles, agreement, plurals, and verb patterns remain noticeable.
Prioritise accurate clause construction and check noun forms and verb complements in every sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.