Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Road safety has become a great concern for people with the rise in accidents and the fatalities they causerise of accidents and fatality those accidents cause every day. People have varying opinionsa varying opinion on how to make roads safe and I believe strict laws should be in placestrict laws should be there to punish driving offenders, butthe driving offenders but a combination of other methods would bring better results. On the one hand, people seem to abide by a law or rule when they know that a violation would result in severe punishmentviolation would bring severe retribution. For instance, in some Asian countries, pedestrianscountries pedestrians used to cross the roads and when stricter penalties were imposeda more rigid penalty has been imposed, those very people started using the underpass. From this perspective, strict penalties and finesstrict penalty and fine can certainly improve road safetythe road safety as people would be more cautious and fearful of the consequences of violating traffic lawsafraid of the consequence of the violation of the traffic laws. As an outcome, the sternerit is a fact that, the sterner the punishment, the greater the chance thatthe greater chances that people would follow the rules. On the other hand, there are already severe punishments for driving offenders, including licence revocation, fines and imprisonmentsevere punishments for driving offenders including ceasing the driving license, monetary fines and imprisonments. Despite this, the number of road accidents is increasing every year. This is why I believe that punishment alone cannot ensure road safetyonly punishment cannot ensure the road security and safety. A combination of other initiatives is also required. First, we need to make people aware ofwe need to aware people about the devastating consequences traffic rule violations can bring to our liveslife. Second, the requirements for passing the driving test should be standardised and made more practical, especially in developing countries where people can take advantage of corruptionuse advantages of the corruption. It is often noticed that many young people are granted driving licencesgiven driving license without scrutinising their experience and skills. This should be completely avoided and after a certain period, each driver should be retested. Third, unfit vehicles should not be allowed to run on the roads as these cars cause more accidents according to the recent Road Transport Authority report. Finally, the traffic system of a country should be modernised and more surveillance cameras and speed cameras should be installedspeed test cameras should be there. To conclude, punishing traffic-rule violatorspunishment to traffic rule violators is a good way to make the road safer but the combination of other steps would bring better resultsmore desired results.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response discusses both views thoroughly and sustains a nuanced opinion that punishment helps but works better alongside education, stronger testing, vehicle standards, and modern enforcement. Its main weaknesses are the absence of paragraph breaks and recurrent awkward grammar and collocation, even though the reasoning remains clear. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the two views and proposed measures into focused paragraphs while refining inaccurate legal and road-safety expressions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both perspectives are well covered, the position is consistent, and several relevant complementary measures are developed with support.
Evaluate which additional measure would have the greatest effect and explain how it complements deterrent punishment rather than merely listing options.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a logical two-sided progression and uses clear sequencing, but the entire essay is one paragraph and the long list of measures becomes mechanical.
Use distinct paragraphs for punishment, alternative measures, comparative evaluation, and conclusion, grouping related initiatives together.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of road-safety and legal vocabulary, though frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Use established terms such as revoke a driving licence, imprisonment, raise public awareness, exploit corruption, vehicle inspections, and speed cameras.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied structures convey the ideas effectively, but article, agreement, plural, clause-boundary, and verb-pattern errors occur regularly.
Proofread complex sentences for complete clauses and correct noun phrases, especially when discussing laws, licences, violations, and enforcement measures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.