Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Nowadays, the accidents that occur on the road are likely to increaserise in number in some countries. While many peoplean army of people think that these issues can be tackled by penalising offenders strictly, others think that there are other steps that can be taken to address themcope with it. It is clear that the strict punishments imposed for driving offencesstrict punishments set up for the driving offences can make them afraidfear to break the laws. For instance, if they are found to have disobeyed the applicable rulesif they are proven to disobey the applied rules, it is a suitable responseit is seemly a good way to punish them by revoking their driving licencestaking their driving licenses forcefully. This measure is likely to make them think twicealert them to think twice before breaking the laws because if they commit an offenceif they commit it they cannot drive anymore. This way can indirectly encourage them to obey the rules; hence, accidentsrules hence the accidents on the road are likely to declinelikely to be declined. The traffic rules are applicable not only to drivers but also toapplicable only for the drivers, but also for ordinary commutersthe ordinary commuters as well. While an over-bridge or an underpassan under pathway is mandatory for crossing the busy roads, many people do not obey thesethis rules. It is not unusual that many careless drivers do not follow the traffic signals and all these violations of traffic rules cause severe accidents and congestion in many cities. Hence, implementing strict punishments and finespunishment and fine can be one effective solution to tackle this issue. On the other hand, many believe that other measures could be more successful to address this problem, including creating awareness among citizens to drive safely, organising seminars and training programmesseminars & training programmes about the importance of road safety and modernising the traffic control system. The research carried out by Statistics Center, an organisation at the University of Diponegoro, reveals that citizens in Semarang who have wide knowledge about how to drive safely tend to obey the applied rules if compared to those who do notthe ones who does not have this knowledge. This makes clear that these measures can be utilised to create a consciousness to be safe riders.
Apart from that, the number of cars and buses on the roads in many cities is much higher and restricting the private car ownership can reduce the number of cars on the roads and thus the number of accidents or casualties. Improving the traffic system with modern equipment and enrolling more trained and professional traffic police could be another great way to tackle this issue. To conclude, the establishment of punishment strictly is a wise idea but by presenting workshops and training programmes to all citizens, especially drivers of different vehicles, improving the traffic control system are the finest ways to encourage them to increase security on the way.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response addresses both positions and gives a clear preference for education, traffic-system improvements, and enforcement working beyond punishment alone, supported by several relevant examples. Its main weakness is that ideas are sometimes repeated or packed into loosely organised sections while frequent grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision; prioritise a cleaner paragraph structure and accurate sentence construction around one developed example per measure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are discussed and the preference for a combination of broader safety measures is clear, with relevant explanation and examples despite some repetition.
Make the comparative judgement sharper by explaining why the preferred measures would outperform punishment rather than mainly listing additional solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses from punishment to alternative measures and a conclusion, but some long sections combine several ideas and cohesive devices are occasionally mechanical.
Use one paragraph for each view and organise each around a single controlling idea followed by explanation and evidence.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for road safety and enforcement, but frequent awkward collocations and imprecise expressions limit lexical control.
Replace unnatural phrases with standard combinations such as deter offenders, revoke licences, raise awareness, and improve road safety.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer uses varied sentence forms and meaning remains mostly clear, although errors in agreement, articles, reference, and passive constructions recur.
Check every sentence for subject-verb agreement and use active constructions when passive forms become awkward or unclear.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.