Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age?
Sample Response
People have different opinions with regard to the question of ‘what is the right age for the children to start school?’ Although I accept that young childrenthe younger generations should be permitted to stay at home and play till they reach a certain age, I also agree that they needit is much needed for them to start formal education soon. I would say that six or seven years would be a bit late to start school while four or five years4-5 years would be the ideal time to do so.
On the one hand, allowing children to be at home and play until they reach the age oftill they attain an age of six or seven has several benefits. Firstly, the stress and strain of learning academic subjectsstress and strain needed to learn academic subjects would be avoided. Childhood days are meant to be enjoyed and there is no harm in letting them enjoy their childhood freedomtheir freedom of life. Secondly, parental care is required until a certain age. For example, personal hygienic habit would be followed perfectly by a child if it is learnt from their parents. Finally, it is obvious that a child becomes comparatively more maturea child gets little mature comparatively, so it would be much easier for teachers to teachhandle the students at an educational institution. Therefore, efficientTherefore efficient teaching and learninggrasping would be the start of education for every child.
On the other hand, early educationan early education is essentialthe need of the hour to face the competitive world. Since the parents want their kids to be successful, theysuccessful; they aim to give an excellent educational foundation for themeducational background to them. Instead of learning the basics at the age of six or seven, they want their children to be well preparedtheir children to be updated. That is the reason why so many play schools have been established these days. There are even several extra classes being conducted for cognitive development like mid-brain activation classes which mainly focusfocuses on the age group below six. On the whole, making the younger minds to learn at this age, their mothers and fathers ensure that their child's time is well spent for the personal development which would help them to face the future life confidently. Finally, while I agree that freedom should be given to every child to cherish the childhood days, I believe that it is more crucialI believe that is more crucial to get them educated soon to secure their future.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay’s strongest feature is its clear preference for starting school around four or five and its attempt to connect early education with preparation and cognitive development. Its main limitation is task focus: a large body paragraph discusses the benefits of staying home, although the question asks specifically for advantages of early schooling; the highest-priority improvement is to replace that material with two distinct, well-explained benefits of attending school young.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear view and some relevant advantages of early schooling are presented, but substantial space answers the unasked question of why children should stay home.
Focus every body paragraph on an advantage of early school attendance, such as social development, structured learning, or early identification of needs.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has recognizable introduction, contrasting body sections, and conclusion, but progression is weakened because the first body paragraph moves away from the required focus.
Organise two body paragraphs around separate early-school benefits and use the conclusion only to synthesize those advantages.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary for childhood, education, competition, and development, though awkward phrases such as “gets little mature” and “grasping” reduce precision.
Use natural terms such as “becomes more mature,” “learning,” “social skills,” and “cognitive development.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of structures communicates the main ideas, but agreement, article, pronoun, clause, and verb-form errors recur throughout.
Correct forms such as “habits would be learned,” “classes that focus,” “helps children learn,” and “it is more crucial.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.