Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Today, education has become a priority for many parents seeking to secure a good future for their children in this rapidly changing world. They believe that if their children apply themselves and work hard at school, then they will increase their opportunities for entering higher educationgoing to higher education and eventually getting a good job. Of course, they are right, and as access to the best education and best jobs is becoming more competitive, then it is true that children have to make the best of their study time when they are young.
However, parents whothe parents who do not allow their children sufficient free time for leisure activities outside school hours are misguided. Such activities are far from being a waste of time for childrenfor the children simply because they are not academic. It is important to remember that children need to develop skills beyond intellectual skillsother than intellectual ones, and the best way to do this is through activities such as sports, games, and play with other childrensports, games and playing with other kids. If they cannot engage in make-believe playplay make-believe games, how can they develop their imagination? How can they learn physical coordination or learn important social lessons about winning and losing if they do not participate in sportspractise any sports? Many children form strong, personal relationships with the friends they play with, and without the opportunity to do this, they could grow up emotionally immature or unformed.
Finally, I think it is also important to remember that childrenremember that, children need to relax as well as work. If everything they do must have some educational relevancesome educational or academic relevance, then they will soon get tired of studying altogether, which is the last thing parents would want.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response develops a clear disagreement through well-chosen arguments about children's social, emotional, imaginative, and physical development, and its rhetorical questions make the reasoning persuasive. The main limitation is that the opening concession delays the writer's position and a few sentences contain minor punctuation or phrasing lapses. State the position explicitly in the introduction and polish these isolated language issues for greater precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and supported by well-developed, relevant reasons showing why non-academic leisure has substantial value.
Signal the disagreement explicitly in the introduction so the stance is immediately unmistakable.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically from acknowledging academic pressure to explaining the developmental and restorative value of leisure.
Make the introductory concession slightly more concise to bring the central argument forward sooner.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and naturally adapted to education, development, relationships, and leisure, with only isolated awkward phrasing.
Refine occasional expressions such as emotionally immature or unformed to make the final nuance more exact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and the few punctuation or construction lapses do not impede communication.
Remove isolated unnecessary punctuation, particularly the comma after that in the final paragraph.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.