Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Sentencing criminals is a difficult responsibility.Have you ever thought about being a judge? There may be various situations in our daily lives in which we need to express our judgmentsour judgments are needed to be expressed. But is it really as simple as the situations we encounter every day when it comes to judging serious crimes? For a long time, it has been a controversial issue whether there must be fixed punishments for any kind of crime or the motive is an important factorthe incentive is an influential factor that is crucial to be considered. I support the latter viewI personally approve of the latter belief since there are a lot of crimes in which the offender's guilt is less clear or less severethe criminal is not really guilty.
On the one hand, a group of people firmlydogmatically believe the punishment for any crime ought to be fixed regardless of the crime’s motive. They state that if felons know there is severe punishment even for small crimes, they are deterredhindered and will never attempt to commit a crime. Therefore, the violence and crime rates decline considerably and thus we will have a better societythus a better society we will have. For instance, in Saudi Arabia, the punishment for robbery is that one of the robber's hands is cut offis of one the robber’s hands being cut irrespective of what he has stolen, an apple or a car.
On the other hand, others in societythe other group of society argues that the source of the felony must be investigatedwhere the felony stems from must be investigated and the motivation should be taken into consideration when sentencing a criminal. As a justification, they cite that there are situations in which the crime has not been done deliberately or the culprit is not the real wrongdoer. In particular, in an involuntary homicide, the killer might be the victim since it might have self-defence or a robbery for feeding a family differs from robbing for profit. In this case, the judge is the person who can decidethe judge is who can decide the best penalty considering every aspect and condition of crime perpetration.
On the whole, even though fixed punishments can be extremely beneficial in the decrease of crime rate and may culminate in a safer society, the justice system should be flexible enough towards certain felonies and consider the crime’s rationale and conditions for giving the most appropriate verdict.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response covers both positions, states a clear preference, and supports the discussion with relevant examples and appropriately varied legal vocabulary. Its main limitation is that the lengthy rhetorical opening and several dense, error-prone sentences reduce precision, while one example is expressed too absolutely. Prioritize a more concise argument built around balanced comparisons of deterrence, fairness, and proportionality, then simplify long clauses so the reasoning remains controlled and clear.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response discusses both fixed punishments and individual circumstances and gives a clear opinion. Examples are relevant, though the introduction is lengthy and one example is expressed too absolutely.
Shorten the rhetorical opening and use more balanced examples that directly compare fairness, deterrence, and proportionality.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is well paragraphed with a clear discuss-both-views structure. Some sentences are dense and transitions occasionally rely on broad phrases rather than precise logical links.
Make each paragraph's controlling idea explicit in the first sentence and reduce long sentences with several embedded clauses.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and often topic-appropriate, including terms such as motive, sentencing, felony, and verdict. Some word choices are unnatural or overformal and a few collocations are inaccurate.
Prefer precise legal terms and avoid heavy phrases when a simpler word would be clearer.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a good range of complex structures, but errors in clause structure, agreement, articles, and prepositions occur throughout. Meaning remains clear despite these issues.
Check long sentences for missing subjects, incorrect passive structures, and article-preposition combinations.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
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