Some people say that international sporting events contribute greatly to peace and stability in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Sports, in the past, used to be considered a recreationaljuvenile activity confined to parks and indoor venuesconfined to parks and indoors only. But these days,But, these days, they have expanded beyond these limitspushed the boundaries and attracted players and audiences from many countriesnational and international players and audiences by bringing people closer. So, there is no denying that sports have the power to unite the world and maintain global peace, and I completely agree with this viewpoint.
Undoubtedly, sports at the international level play a significantsterling role in diplomatic relations among different nations. Owing to historical or political reasons, not all countries are at peace with each other. Admittedly, sports evoke pleasure and satisfaction similar to those ofsimilar pleasure and satisfaction as a victory in a war does, but they bringbut it brings nations together. Moreover, global sports events can be icebreakers as competitors from nations create a common platform for global leaders, organizations, and athletes to interact in a more convenient and sophisticated way. A good illustration is the Olympic Gamesgames in which the whole world can be brought together and this has a positive impact on maintaining global harmony.
Furthermore, sports evoke high patriotic feelings toward their countrynationalistic passions towards the country while providing an outlet for patriotic emotionsalong with providing a platform for patriotic emotions to be released. It is a constructive way to exhibit one's patriotic emotions. EvenEven, international sporting events such as the Commonwealth Games bring recognition to small countries. For instance, it is difficult to know about the West Indies and Nepal, however, they are well-known countries just because of their cricket teams. By and large, sport is the only activitythe sport is the only activity that delivers a clear message of peace and paves the way for buildingpaves the road to building world harmony.
To reiterate, sports involve positive activitiesactivity that reduceskills negativity and brings peace and joy to the world by bringing people and global leaders together. Thus international sporting eventsaffairs have the power to maintain and strengthenmend global stability, cooperationconformity and peace.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response maintains a clear position and develops a coherent argument through relevant discussion of diplomacy, shared events, and national recognition. Its main limitation is that several claims, especially the link between patriotism or sporting recognition and lasting peace, are asserted rather than convincingly explained. The highest-priority improvement is to develop fewer ideas with more precise causal reasoning and credible, directly relevant examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear throughout, and relevant ideas are developed, although some support is broad or only loosely connected to stability.
Explain more precisely how each sporting outcome produces peace and use a well-grounded example to substantiate the claim.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a consistent conclusion.
Strengthen the internal progression of the second body paragraph so that recognition, patriotism, and peace form one explicit argument.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic vocabulary is used, but several collocations and expressions are strained or imprecise.
Choose more natural combinations such as promote stability or foster cooperation and avoid inflated phrasing that weakens precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex structures is generally controlled, with only occasional agreement, punctuation, and construction errors.
Proofread complex sentences for subject-verb agreement and ensure every comparison and clause has a grammatically clear relationship.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that international sporting events contribute greatly to peace and stability in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.