Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Which one do you agree with? Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Currently, what we should do in leisure time for ourthe well-being has been a matter of public attention in modern lifethis contemporary life. It is believed that doing some leisure activities will enhance people’s frame of mind. By contrastDiametrically, opposed to this, some people put forward the idea that rest will be goodthe rest will be good for our mind. I am convincedAs far as I am convinced that the former opinion should receive more support.
Central to this idea is the argument that for most people, the benefit of spending spare time doingthe benefit of spending spare time for doing some recreational activities, such as reading and doing word puzzlespuzzle is to improve cognitive abilitypromote brain’s ability, which will enable them to become more intellectual and brilliant. The key explanation to this could be that evidence in favour of playing puzzles and answering IQ quizzes is found in much research which reveals that these activities will improve mental agilityboost human mindset effectively and logically.
Another noticeable justification is that leisure pursuits such as reading books and writing a diary or a novelwriting diary or novel will drive people further toward enriching their horizon and knowledge as well as cultivating their critical thinking. For example, in some developed countries, the governments have encouraged their citizens in creating the reading habit by establishing public libraries and e-libraries with a mixed variety of books.
It is also true that refreshing the mind through restrefreshing mind by rest is particularly important for people’s living, which can make it possible for human to relax and unwind after long working time. If we do not pay enough attention to rest and sleep, it will be likely to make us feel exhausted and irritable. However, leisure activities are more important for most people.
To recapitulate, the main advantage of spending spare time for doing leisure pursuits is to improve our frame of mind and thus make us develop IQ ability well. Meanwhile unwinding after hard work and study is not being dismissednot crushed aside.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response considers both views and gives a clear preference, with orderly paragraphing and relevant ideas about mental activity, knowledge, and rest. The discussion of rest is comparatively brief, while inflated collocations and recurring structural errors make parts of the argument less natural and precise. Develop the opposing view more fully, state the final comparison unambiguously, and use shorter sentences with natural phrases for mental well-being and relaxation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay discusses both mental-improvement activities and rest, with a clear preference for active leisure, but the rest view is shorter and the conclusion is slightly unclear.
Give the rest view a fuller explanation and finish with a clear sentence explaining why mental activities are more valuable overall.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is clear and ideas generally progress, though some linking expressions are overformal or inaccurate.
Use simpler transitions and make each paragraph's main claim direct before adding examples.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonable range of vocabulary, but many collocations are unnatural or inflated, especially around mind, IQ, and leisure.
Use natural phrases such as mental well-being, cognitive ability, broaden knowledge, and relax the mind.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses complex sentences, but errors in clause structure, articles, plural forms, and word forms appear regularly.
Shorten long sentences and check noun forms after expressions such as such as, the benefit of, and make us.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Which one do you agree with? Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.