Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Which one do you agree with? Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Nowadays people are divided on the issue of howon the issue how to utilise leisure time effectively. One line of thought believes there should be mentally stimulating activitiesmind-twisting activities to develop the mindto develop mind but on the other hand, there are those who argueaffirm with this notion that it is better to rest.I am partial accord with this ideology. In the following paragraphsIn following paragraphs, I will shed light on arguments supporting my viewarguments to supporting my views.
First,To launch into the topic, as according to some people rest is necessary to keep our mind fresh and healthy and up to some extent it is right. Giving the mind rest revitalises itGiving rest to mind revitalise it, helps to think better. Moreover, as our body is not a machine, so respite is mandatory. 24 hours use of mind can cause stress and many types of health problemsmaladies. So up to some extent,it is mandatory to take a respite for some time.
On the flip side, in the modern era, cut throat competition is going on in every domain, so developed minds can attain success. So these types of activities play a pivotal role in life. ActivitiesActivates like reading books can also play a role in broadening our knowledge, which will be helpful in later life. It can create new employment opportunitiesopen new vistas of employment and opportunity. By solving puzzles and playing brain games, it increases creativityit escalates creative power of our mind, a person's level of thinking also developsa level of thinking also develop in an effective manner.
At the end of the discussion, after analysing theof arguments, both sides have their reasons for their arguments. Rest and development activities are bothRests, as well as the development activities, are both are equally important. At last, I am in favour of both of these. I would suggest a good balance of taking rest and engaging in mind enhancing activities in leisure time for any individual.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response considers both perspectives and reaches a balanced conclusion, with relevant points about mental rest, reading, and puzzles. Its main limitation is that the position is initially unclear and the ideas remain general, while awkward wording and frequent sentence-level errors weaken control. State the balanced view clearly in the introduction, then develop each side with a specific example using shorter, more natural sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay discusses both resting the mind and doing mind-improving activities and gives a balanced opinion, but the position is unclear in the introduction and support is general.
State clearly that you prefer a balance, then give one specific reason and example for rest and one for active mental development.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is paragraphed and the two views are separated, but linking is formulaic and some sentences are fragments or poorly connected.
Use simpler topic sentences and make each paragraph develop one view before comparing them in the conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary attempts to be varied, but many phrases are memorised, unnatural, or inaccurate, such as mind-twisting, respite, and escalates creative power.
Use natural topic vocabulary such as leisure time, mental rest, concentration, reading, puzzles, creativity, and mental health.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent grammar errors in articles, verb forms, punctuation, and sentence structure reduce control, though the message is usually understandable.
Write shorter sentences and check subject-verb agreement, especially with rest, activities, and mind.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Which one do you agree with? Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.