Some people say that time and money spent on music classes in schools are not necessary. Instead, children should be learning useful subjects such as science and computers. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.
Sample Response
There is a general belief that music as a school subjectthat music subject in school does not add any value to the children’s education. As an alternative, time and money shouldthe time and money should be spent on more important subjects, for example, science and IT. Although there are arguments on both sides, I strongly agree that music should be banned from the school curriculumprogram. The school curriculum is becomingThe school program is getting more difficult and children need to meet increasingly demanding requirementscope with all new requirements and study extensivelypractice a lot in order to be able to earnhave good marks. For example, in the past children were required only to read and they were asked to solve only basic maths problemswere asked only basic math to be able to solve. However, the difficulty of what modern students are required to learnlevel of difficulty modern students are required to learn is significantly higher. For this reason, music should be removed from the school curriculumfrom school curriculum and children should not waste their time and parents' moneyparents money on it. The next point that needs to be taken into consideration is that music is an essential subject only for children who have a special talent foron it. In this case, those with talent could be educated in specialist music schools rather than general state schoolsin music school but not in state general school. For instance, every city has at least three music schools where children could be taught various music subjects such as the history of music, composerscompositors, how to play the guitarplay on a guitar or a violin. To sum up, it is evident that music should not be includedthat music subject should not be included in school curriculum due to the necessity to spend more time and money on studying more useful subjectspractice with more useful subjects like science and IT. I firmly believe that those who wish to learn music should study it at music schoolsin the music schools and should avoid spending timeand do not waste time and money in ordinary school.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response's strongest aspect is its consistent position that mainstream schools should prioritise academic subjects, supported by two identifiable reasons about curriculum pressure and specialist provision for talented musicians. The argument remains somewhat narrow and relies on broad or doubtful examples, while persistent language inaccuracies reduce polish. Prioritise deeper explanation of how reallocating lesson time or funding would benefit pupils, using one credible example and acknowledging the educational value music might still provide.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear opinion is maintained and supported with relevant reasons, but the reasoning is only partly developed and examples such as every city having three music schools are unsubstantiated.
Develop one specific educational benefit of reallocating music time or funding and address a plausible benefit of music before explaining why the academic priority still prevails.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses from a clear position through two reasons to a consistent conclusion, but the single-paragraph format and formulaic transitions weaken organisation.
Separate the introduction, each main reason and the conclusion into focused paragraphs, using fewer stock linking phrases.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for education and curriculum issues, with some less common attempts, but recurring collocation and word-choice errors reduce precision.
Use natural expressions such as 'music as a school subject', 'the general school curriculum', 'a talent for music' and 'composers'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentences, although article, possessive and clause-structure errors occur regularly without usually obscuring meaning.
Check possessives such as 'parents' money', add articles before 'the school curriculum', and keep coordinated verbs parallel after modal structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that time and money spent on music classes in schools are not necessary. Instead, children should be learning useful subjects such as science and computers. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.