In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Sample Response
Nowadays, schools in various parts of the world report that students tend to have behavioural problems. Unfortunately, this will make it harder for schools to educate students as problematic behaviours are likely to interfere with the education process. There are some reasons as to why students behave inappropriately. Firstly, the way society works these days affectsaffect students’ behavioural patterns. For instance, parents might spend more time at work than at home and as a result, children lack parental guidance, not knowing how they are supposed to behave. This, in turn, is likely to cause them to have behavioural problems. Secondly, such behaviour might be caused by external influences such as the internet and televisionsuch behaviours might be caused by external influences, such as internet and television. Students, for example, might watch TV shows that use a lot of violence. Therefore, they are likely to imitate this in real lifethey are likely to imitate in real life by being more aggressive and using more violence. After all, students, especially teenagers, are easily affected by outside influencesexternal parties. In order to counter such a problemcounter such problem, teachers should be friendly while still maintaining their professionalism. By being friendly, teachers might be able to understand students’ points of viewstudents’ point of views and thus devise appropriate strategies for connecting with themthe right strategies to connect with them. This is because students are more likely to listen to teachers if they feel they can relate to the teachers and that the teachers understand them. Furthermore, it is also important to handle students patiently. This is really crucial since rough treatmenttreatments might worsen their behaviours or encourage them to play truant. It is, therefore, wiser to be patient and guide students gradually to be well-behaved rather than using force to do so. In conclusion, behavioural problems result from the way society works these days (e.g. lack of parental guidance) and external influences, such as violent TV showsexternal parties, such as bad influences from TV shows. Nevertheless, by understanding students’ views and guiding them patiently, students can gradually change and behave more appropriatelybehave in a more appropriate manner.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay develops relevant causes and practical teacher-led solutions clearly, using varied vocabulary and generally controlled complex grammar. Its main weakness is that the entire response is presented as one paragraph and the solutions do not fully match the parental and institutional causes identified; prioritise a clear paragraph structure and add a concrete parent- or school-level measure so the response is easier to follow and more complete.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay answers both causes and solutions well, with relevant discussion of parental guidance, media influence, teacher relationships, and patient guidance. The response is strong, though the solutions focus mainly on teachers and could include parents or schools as institutions.
Add one solution involving parents or school policy so the response matches the causes more completely.
Coherence and Cohesion
The progression is clear, but the whole essay appears as one paragraph, which reduces readability. Linking between causes and solutions is otherwise generally effective.
Use paragraph breaks for introduction, causes, solutions, and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and mostly natural, with useful phrases such as behavioural problems, parental guidance, external influences, and play truant. A few collocations and plural forms are inaccurate.
Refine collocations such as “affect behavioural patterns,” “students’ points of view,” “rough treatment,” and “counter this problem.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally controlled, with several complex structures. Minor agreement, article, and pronoun-reference errors remain but rarely block meaning.
Check subject-verb agreement after long subjects and use plural possessives accurately.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.