The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Sample Response
It goes without saying that globalization and development in technology have changed almost everyone’s expectations of human life. Therefore, according to some people, traditional ideas offer significant benefitsthe traditional idea gives immense benefits, and even values and behaviour help people live betterhelp people for their better survival, but others disagreedeny and believe these past ideas are not useful to young peoplenot worthy for youngsters who live in the modern era. However, I deem that in some cases, traditional ideas are still useful, and they offer various benefitsit has various welfare in today’s community. I would like to explicate it and length easy paragraph to come.
From one perspectiveGoing with the first school of thought, new approaches and updated ideas brought the world closer and made ordinary people's lives easier and simplerdesigned the lives of ordinary people easier and simple. Put another wayPut in other words, there are numerous tools and options to solve the day-to-day problems of individual life. Even using sophisticated pieces of equipment with vast thinking change all the life of people who lives in the community. For example, there are ample inventions that make the lives of people convenient such as internet gadgets and heavy machines that sort out many significant problemsevery immense problem in a short timein a few times. To add to it, new ideas among the children help them focus and achieve higher educational outcomeslead to easily get focus and achieving higher education while they are studying in smart schools.
OnOnly the other hand, old inventions also have some positive effectsside in making real changesto making fact changes in society even though old ideas are time-proven so that massive population of the country, especially senior people, preferalways like to prefer their traditional lifestyleold approach lifestyle for a better outcome. To be clear, moral values that are vital for people to survive in the contemporary era because when people get connected with their past background, they definitely achieve heights instead of destruction. Moreover, there are ample basic experiences of life which are always learned from past valueswhich always learn from the Past value so that individuals tend to enhance their lifestyle with brilliant thinking. For instance, some of the treatments are not much effective in modern society, so they easily take old remedies which have a long-lasting healing effecteffect of curing the treatment without any hurdles.
To conclude, certain ancient outlooks have become irrelevant in this new era. In spite of that, I think many of them are still useful to man today, and if followed by the newer generations, theyit can lead them to huge achievements.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response has a recognizable position and a conventional paragraph structure, and it attempts to consider both modern approaches and continuing traditional values. Its main limitation is that the ideas are often generic, loosely connected to the precise question, and obscured by unnatural language. The highest-priority improvement is to build each body paragraph around one clearly relevant traditional idea, then explain specifically whether it helps prepare young people for modern life.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A partial position is apparent, but the discussion often shifts to technology or old inventions without directly evaluating preparation for modern life.
Use each paragraph to assess a specific traditional belief and explain clearly how it helps or hinders younger people today.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing provides a basic progression, but internal links are sometimes mechanical or inaccurate and several ideas follow one another loosely.
Start each body paragraph with a precise controlling idea and connect every example explicitly back to that claim.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a broad vocabulary, but frequent inappropriate collocations and word choices make many points difficult to express naturally.
Prioritize accurate common phrasing and revise combinations such as various welfare, vast thinking, and fact changes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, clauses, and sentence construction sometimes impede clarity.
Write shorter complete sentences first, then check every clause for a clear subject, finite verb, and correct agreement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.