minutes on this task: Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view.
Sample Response
Parenting is an extremely important factor for the proper upbringing of a child. While some people are of the opinion that women make better parents, others think that men can also be effective in parenting. I believe that no conclusions can be drawnthere cannot be conclusions drawn in generalin a generic sense based on gender—male or femalerelating to the gender – Men or Women. What matters most is the one who has the qualities of being a good parent; this can be either male or femaleeither a male or female.
Women, by virtue of having more patience, tendWomen by virtue of having more patience, tend to handle children better during their infancy when patience is an important factor. Ensuring a balanced and nutritious diet for a child is again done better by women. For example, women are in a better position to understand what a child needs to take in the lunchbox for schoolfor the school. Further, studies have indicated that instilling morals, values, and ethics in a childimbibing the morals, values and ethics into a child during their formative yearstheir growing up years is done better by mothers.
Men's contribution to a child's development is often more effectiveis found to be more effective when it comes to instillingimbibing discipline. This becomes important as the child's time management is key to the child's overall behaviour and personalitybecomes a key to his overall behavioural traits and personality. For example, ensuring the child wakes up in time, spends the right amount of time on studies, indoor and outdoor games can be better enforced by a father. Studies also indicate that children who get addicted to one particular activity, for example, say computer games, tend to grow up as loners and whose ability to interact socially becomes limited. Men tend to have a better abilityhave better ability to control these activities in children as they growin growing children.
To conclude, it will be incorrect to draw a general inference that women make better parents than men. No two individuals are the same and everyone possesses unique strengthseveryone possesses their unique strengths. If those strengths coincideIf that strength coincides with the quality required for effective parenting, people can be good parentsthey could make good parents regardless of whether they are men or women.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a clear equal-role position, gives each gender a focused body paragraph, and concludes with the useful principle that parenting quality depends on individual strengths rather than sex. Its main limitation is that much of the supporting discussion still rests on broad stereotypes about mothers, fathers, diet, and discipline; prioritise evidence-based examples of shared parenting competencies and refine several awkward grammatical constructions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and both parental roles are developed with relevant examples, but several claims generalise gender differences without adequate support.
Use examples of either parent providing care, nutrition, discipline, and emotional support to demonstrate why individual qualities matter more than gender.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, two role-based body paragraphs, and conclusion create clear progression, although some examples become overextended or loosely connected.
Keep each body paragraph centred on transferable parenting qualities and remove the lengthy computer-game aside unless it directly supports the comparison.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of parenting and development vocabulary, but repeated misuse and awkward collocations limit precision.
Replace imbibing discipline or morals with instilling discipline or values, and use general conclusion, ability, and children as they grow naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are used with some control, but article, punctuation, agreement, parallelism, and relative-clause errors occur regularly.
Revise faulty structures such as no general conclusions can be drawn, either a man or a woman, and children who become addicted may grow up as loners.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
minutes on this task: Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.