The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014.
Sample Response
The line graph illustrates the number of books read by both sexes from 2011 to 2014 at Burnaby Public Library. Initially, men’s interest in reading books was slightly less than women, although it continues to rise significantly than women ultimately. In addition, books read by men and womenboth male and female were the same in 2013. In 2011,Firstly, in 2011, male readers at Burnaby Public Librarymen readers in Burnaby Public Library read fewer books than female readersthe women readers did. MaleMen readers read around 3000 books compared with 5,000 for womencompared to 5000 books read by women readers. In 2012Moreover, in the following year, the number of books readthe number book enjoyed by male readers increased slightly and reached nearlyreached to nearly 4000. Secondly, the number of books read by menthe book read by males rose dramatically from 2012 to 2013 and matched the figure for womenintersected the female readers' book number at around ten thousand. Finally, in 2014, the number of books read by menbooks read by the male readers in this library grew rapidly to nearly 14 thousand whereas the figure for womenbut that of women, on the contrary, fell sharply to around 7,000declined suddenly just around to 7 thousand. In brief, men were less interested in reading books than women in this library at first but men have shown a change of their interest in later years.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response accurately captures the central crossover in 2013 and the contrasting final outcomes, with relevant figures for the men's series. Its main limitation is that the women's 2012 rise is omitted and the report is presented as one dense paragraph, while frequent awkward noun phrases reduce fluency. Add the missing intermediate comparison, separate the overview from the detail, and use simpler, grammatically complete comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and mostly accurate figures cover the main crossover and final divergence, although the women's rise to 8,000 books in 2012 is omitted.
Include the missing 2012 female figure and compare both series across each major stage rather than developing the men's trend more fully.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information follows a clear chronological sequence, but mechanical sequencing words and the absence of paragraph breaks make the report feel dense.
Separate the overview from the detail and group the 2011–2012 and 2013–2014 comparisons into distinct paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of trend vocabulary, but awkward collocations and noun phrases such as “the number book enjoyed” and “reached to” recur.
Prefer natural combinations such as “the number of books read,” “rose to,” “stood at,” and “fell to.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex structures convey the trends clearly overall, though errors in comparison forms, articles, noun phrases, and verb patterns are frequent.
Check every comparative clause and noun phrase for complete structure, especially after “than,” “number of,” and verbs describing change.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.