The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
Sample Response
The two diagrams illustrate the cement-making process. We can see from the given illustration that cement is manufactured first, and then it's used in concrete productionthe concrete production. In the first diagram, we can see that limestone is the raw material to which clay is addedwith which clay added. FirstFirstly, the two materials are crushed to form athe powder. Then this powder passes through a mixer and a rotating heatera heater where it is heated by a flamethrough which the powder is exposed to flame. The material is thenThe powder now is in the form of a heated mixturea paste. This paste is groundgrinded into cement before undergoingto be cement to pass through the final stage: packing in bagslast process; packing in bags. The second diagram shows that cement can be used to produce concrete. This process is simpler than cement production; concrete is a mixture of 15% cement, 10 % water, 25% sand and 50 % small stones which are known as gravelwhich are named as "Gravel". The four elements are poured in a huge mixer which rotates producing concrete. We can see that once the cement is produced by several steps and equipment, it can be used in other less complicated processes, for instance, concrete production.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response successfully follows both production sequences and reports all four concrete proportions accurately, so the processes remain easy to understand. Its main limitation is uneven language control, including the unsupported claim that the cement powder becomes a paste and several awkward or ungrammatical forms. Prioritise technically exact stage descriptions and revise sentence structures so each material, action, and result is expressed precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Both processes are covered with an appropriate comparative overview, all main equipment and proportions, and one inaccurate reference to the heated powder becoming paste.
Describe the material as powder throughout the cement sequence and make the rotating heater’s role explicit without adding an unsupported change of state.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information follows the process order clearly, but the single-paragraph presentation and repeated ‘we can see’ framing limit structural cohesion.
Separate the overview, cement stages, and concrete production into distinct paragraphs and use stage-based links rather than repeated viewing phrases.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for describing manufacturing, but several word choices and forms are inaccurate, including ‘grinded’, ‘named as’, and ‘huge mixer’.
Use standard process terms and collocations, such as ‘ground’, ‘known as gravel’, ‘rotating heater’, and ‘concrete mixer’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates the sequence, although missing auxiliaries, awkward passive forms, and faulty clause connections recur.
Strengthen passive constructions and clause control, for example ‘clay is added to limestone’ and ‘the mixture is then ground to produce cement’.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.