The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market.
Sample Response
The graphs describe the number of tourists from Japan who travelled abroadvisited different countries and the proportion of Japanese visitors visiting Australia over the period shownin one decade. As can be seen vividly, the number of tourists, both total and in percentage, visiting Australia increased significantly throughout the decade. Starting from 1985, the number of Japanese tourists tripled from 5 millionmillions to just over 15 millionmostly 15 millions in 1995. However, the overall upward trendstatic increase was interrupted between 1990 and 1991stopped from 1990 to 1991 with a slight fall ofby approximately 200,000 visitors. Apart from that, the improvement of travellers travelling to Australia occurs with a small decrease from 1998 to 1990. It is also noteworthyunique that in 1988 and 1990in 1989 and 1991 the percentage stood at the same level, about 4.8% of the total5% of the total. Furthermore, Japanese visitors to Australia reached a peak in 19931994 at about 6.2%as much as 6.2% of Japanese tourists travelling abroadof total tourists. In addition, from 1994 to 1995, the number of tourists reached a peak but the percentage of Japanese tourists travelling to Australia had a steady decrease.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies the broad upward trends and moves logically from total outbound travel to Australia’s share. However, several key figures and years are inaccurate: the share dipped from 1988 to 1989, peaked in 1993, and the second chart ends in 1994, while the total tourist figure is not the number visiting Australia. Prioritise checking each metric and date against its chart before reporting comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main upward trends are recognised, but multiple dates and values are inaccurate and the total number travelling abroad is sometimes confused with the number visiting Australia.
Distinguish the two measures clearly and report the 1988–89 dip, the 1993 peak in Australia's share, and the different end years accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses from the first graph to the second with generally clear links, but the entire response is one paragraph and some transitions are mechanical.
Use an introduction and overview followed by separate detail paragraphs for total outbound travel and Australia's market share.
Lexical Resource
The response has enough vocabulary to describe trends, but collocations such as “static increase,” “improvement of travellers,” and “as much as 6.2%” are often imprecise.
Use standard chart language such as “rose steadily,” “fell slightly,” “accounted for,” and “reached a peak of.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence forms conveys the comparisons clearly, although plural forms, tense consistency, and some awkward constructions remain noticeable.
Use past tense consistently for the historical data and correct countable expressions such as “five million tourists.”
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.