The graph below shows four countries of residence of overseas students in Australia.

Same questionCompare 6 different answers (Band 5–5.5)

Sample Response

1

The chartA glance at the chart provided reveals the number of students who studiedcontinued their study in Australia from four Asian countries from 1982 to 2000over a nineteen-year period from 1982 to 2000. Overall, it is clearit is clearly seen that all fourAsian countries experienced a considerable increase in student numbersincrease in students number in Australia. Initially,First of all, three countries startedthere were three countries that started at similarly low levelsat the same level in 1982:1982 - Hong Kong, Singapore, and Indonesia. But Indonesia and Singapore levelled off until 1987, while Hong Kong students soared to somewhere in the vicinity of 10,000 students in 1994, and reached a peak approximately 25,000 students in 1998 before falling again just over 20,000 students in 2000. Furthermore, the number of Indonesia students remained stable between 1992 and 1995 at 10,000 students before reaching a peak of almost 20,000 students in 1997 and decreased again about 15,000 students in 1998. Meanwhile, there was a noticeable growth for Singapore students about 20,000 in 2000. Similarly,In contrast, the number of Malaysian studentsMalaysian students number rose slowlyexperienced a slow rise from 1982 to 1994before reaching approximately 18,000 in 1997, then reaching a peak of approximately 18,000 students in 1997.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 5.5

The response uses a useful range of trend language and establishes the broad increase across the four countries. However, several major movements and peaks are assigned to the wrong series, especially for Hong Kong and Indonesia, and the single dense paragraph obscures comparison; the priority is to trace each line carefully, verify dates and values, and group the four countries into clearly structured comparative paragraphs.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

5.0
Scoring rule

A relevant overall trend is stated, but substantial inaccuracies in the Hong Kong and Indonesia data undermine coverage of key features.

Next step

Match each line to the legend before writing and verify every reported peak, fall, and plateau against the graph.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

5.5
Scoring rule

The account has a discernible chronological flow and basic linking, but presenting everything in one paragraph makes progression uneven.

Next step

Separate the overview from two grouped detail paragraphs and compare related series within each paragraph.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

Trend vocabulary is reasonably varied, though several nationality forms and verb-preposition combinations are inaccurate.

Next step

Use correct forms such as Indonesian students, fell to, and rose by or rose to with the intended meaning.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.5
Scoring rule

Complex sentences are attempted, but recurring errors in possessives, articles, agreement, and clause construction reduce accuracy.

Next step

Simplify long sentences and proofread noun phrases and verb forms so that each comparison is grammatically complete.

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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1

The graph below shows four countries of residence of overseas students in Australia.

Your response

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