The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
Sample Response
The presented line graph showsdemonstrates the proportion of senior citizensproportion of senior citizen in the USA, Japan, and Sweden over a centuryin a century period between 1940 and 2040. In general, there has been an increase in the elderly populationincrease of elder population in all three countriesall countries observed since 1940 and is predicted to rise overalljump up gradually until 2040.
Looking at the detailsdetail, in Sweden, the population of seniors increased gradually from 1940had gradually increased since 1940. It was about 7% in 1940 and increased graduallyhas been improved gradually over timeyear to year.
Furthermore, it is forecasted that the proportion will keep growing and will reach about 25%will hit nearly four times higher, about 25%, in 2040. On the other hand, the USA also showed a rise in the proportion of elderly peopleproportion of elderly. It startedIt was only started at about 9% in 1940 and increased substantiallyhas been swelled essentially and is predicted to reach approximately 23% in 2040hit 20% in 2014.
Meanwhile, Japan showed an distinctive trend in the proportionincredible trend of proportion. It was about 5% in 1940 and declined slowlyslowly had declined until around 2005 when it reached almost the same figure as in 1940, and is projected to increase dramaticallyhas been dramatically increased and will rise continually to over 5 times higher, around 27%, in 2040.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response covers all three countries and gives several broadly correct starting and projected figures, with a generally understandable country-by-country structure. However, the overview oversimplifies fluctuating trends, several dates and movements are inaccurate, and frequent tense, passive-form, and collocation errors weaken precision; the priority is to identify the major fluctuations and crossovers accurately before describing them in simpler, controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three countries are addressed, but the overview and several details misrepresent fluctuations, dates, and the shape of the trends.
Highlight Japan's initial decline and late surge, Sweden's fluctuations, and the final ranking, using dates and values checked against the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Country-by-country organisation gives the response a broadly clear progression, although paragraph division and linking are sometimes mechanical or awkward.
Group the overview separately and organise the details around meaningful comparisons rather than splitting Sweden's description across paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Some relevant trend vocabulary is attempted, but frequent inaccurate collocations such as improved, swelled, and incredible trend weaken precision.
Use dependable graph phrases such as rose, fell, remained stable, fluctuated, and was projected to reach.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors with articles, tense, agreement, and passive constructions reduce control.
Prefer accurate active forms such as the proportion rose and was projected to reach, and check each sentence's subject and verb.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.