The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.

Same questionCompare 4 different answers (Band 6.5–7)

Sample Response

1

The bar chart delineates the proportion of studentsratio of pupils who continue their education for career developmentfor the benefit of their career and from passion, based on their age groups while the second bar chartline graph reveals the support those students got from their companies in the form of time off and help with feesas a form of financial support and time off.

2

Overall, young students’ main focus for education is their career while personal interest is the main reasonit was mostly passion for olderelder learners. Moreover, young students below 30 years of age received more support from their employers. To illustrate, eight out of ten peopleeight of ten people under 26 years old continue their educationcontinue education for their career. Only 10% of them study out of personal interestdo it from passion. Interestingly, the higher the age, the higher the proportion studying for personal interest becomesthe more eager they become to study for personal interest, not for professional reasons. Seven out of ten people who are at least 50 years old study for interest. Finally, these two factors equally motivate people aged 40–49from 40-49 years old to further their learning. The second diagram shows that employees under 30 receivedyoung employees who were younger than 30 years old, got more backing from their employers while the least support was receivedleast support is expected for workers aged 30–39between 30 to 39 years old. However, it is interesting to notice that employers were more supportive of workersmore sympathetic to workers over 40 years old than they were to employees in their thirties.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The response gives a clear, accurate overview of the contrasting study motivations and correctly identifies the broad pattern of employer support. Its main limitation is selective development: the study chart receives useful figures, but the employer-support chart is described without any values, and most details are crowded into one paragraph. Add representative support percentages and separate the two charts into focused detail paragraphs.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

7.0
Scoring rule

A clear overview and several accurate comparisons cover the principal trends, although employer-support data are not quantified.

Next step

Include representative support figures, such as about 65% for under-26s and 35% for ages 30-39, to substantiate that trend.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

Information progresses logically from study motives to employer support, but one long paragraph weakens the grouping of details.

Next step

Use separate detail paragraphs for the bar chart and the employer-support chart, with comparisons grouped by age.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.5
Scoring rule

The response uses a reasonably varied range, though choices such as “pupils,” “elder learners,” and “sympathetic” are imprecise for statistical reporting.

Next step

Prefer neutral, precise terms such as “students,” “older learners,” and “received employer support.”

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5
Scoring rule

A mix of simple and complex structures conveys meaning clearly, despite recurring errors in tense, age expressions, and prepositions.

Next step

Check comparison structures and age ranges, using forms such as “people aged 30 to 39” and consistent present tense.

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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1

The charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.

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