The line graphs below show the production and demand for steel in million tonnes and the number of workers employed in the steel industry in the UK in 2010.
Sample Response
The first line graph compares the steel production and the demand in the UK in 2010 while the second one reveals the number of workersemployee number in the industry in the same year. Overall, the production of steel was higher for most of the yearhigher throughout the year than that of the demand except in December and the highest number of employees was employed in this industry at the beginning of the year. According to the first graph, the UK produced 4,000 million tonnes of steel4000 million tonnes steel in January 2010 and at that time the demand was exactly half of that. After the first quarter, the production and demandneeds for steel remained almost the same. In AugustAt the end of the second quarter, August, the UK’s steel production stoodstool at just over 3 thousand million tonnes against demand about one thousand million tonnes lowera million tonnes less demand. From January to November, the production was higher than the demand and the gap varied considerablythe gap between these two was on average a million tonne. However, the scenario shifted dramatically at the end of the year. From September to November, the steel production plummeted while demand also fell sharply before recovering in Decemberand so did the demand. In December, the demand for steel exceeded the total production. The second line graph reveals that 5 million employees worked in the steel industry and this number dropped to two million less in April. From that time onward, the number of workers showedemployee number showed some fluctuations and in August, the UK steel sector employed around 3.5 million workers. This number generally declined, despite a rise around Augustcontinuously dropped throughout the rest of the year and declined to 1 million in December.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response establishes the broad contrast between steel production and demand and also recognises the substantial overall fall in employment. However, its account of the monthly movements is often imprecise or confusing, particularly around the mid-year fluctuations, demand’s late-year low, and the temporary rise in workers. Prioritise organising the data into early-, mid-, and late-year stages and describing each major peak, fall, and recovery with accurate month references and units.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies the broad relationship between production and demand and notes the fall in workers by December. However, several details are imprecise: August is not the end of the second quarter, production fluctuates before falling, demand drops close to zero before recovering in December, and worker numbers briefly rise around August.
Report the year in monthly stages: high production early, a peak around February, a late-year production collapse, demand's near-zero point before December, and the worker spike around August.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report has an overview and follows the two graphs in order, but some sequencing is confusing and the long paragraph would benefit from clearer staging.
Use one paragraph for production versus demand and one for workers, with month references grouped into early, mid, and late year.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally appropriate, but some phrases are awkward or incorrect, including needs for steel, production stool, and employee number.
Use demand, stood at, workforce, number of workers, fell sharply, recovered, and fluctuated.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are frequent article, preposition, and word-form errors, but the report remains understandable.
Check countable nouns and units, especially million tonnes of steel and workers in thousands.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The line graphs below show the production and demand for steel in million tonnes and the number of workers employed in the steel industry in the UK in 2010.
Your response
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