The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
Sample Response
The graph shows data between married men and women of the number of hours spent per week on unpaid work. At first glanceAt first glance at the chart, it is noticeable that in all three categoriesfrom all the three categories (without children, with 1-2 children and with 3 or more children), married women spend more hours on unpaid workspend more hours involved in unpaid work such as housework, gardening and childcare than men dothan expected from men.
Married women with children spend more time than without children as the chart shows while having more than three children have invested around 60 hours of unpaid work. This is probably due to the extra load of housework and childcare that is neededevidently needed to run a large familysuch a big family.
Furthermore, though there are visible variations inof the number of hours of unpaid work carried out by married women, there is no significant variation among all three categories for married men in terms of unpaid work hourswork hours that are not paid (about 17–18 hours)(30 or fewer hours). In fact, it is observed that married men with three or more children spent slightly fewer hours on unpaid workspent slightly less number of unpaid work hours. This might be due to the greater commitmenthigh requirement of commitment needed for a paid job to meet the financial needs of a large familymeet financial requirements for a big family.
In conclusion, married women with three or more children spendspent the highest number of hours, yet married women from all categories spent a dramatically higher number of hours onfor unpaid work than married men.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear overall comparison and sensibly explains why unpaid work rises for women as family size increases. Its main weakness is imprecise selection of figures, especially describing men's totals only as below 30 and giving little numerical support for the first two female groups. Prioritise exact comparisons from the chart while retaining the concise overview and plausible reasons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview, the main gender contrast, the female trend and plausible reasons are presented, but several categories lack precise figures.
Report the approximately 30, 50 and 60 hours for women and the roughly 18-19 hours for men to support the comparisons accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from the overview to female and male patterns, with clear paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Avoid repeating the overview in the conclusion and make the transition within the second paragraph more direct.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the task, though several collocations such as "invested hours" and "requirement of commitment" are unnatural.
Use precise combinations such as "spent hours," "unpaid workload" and "greater financial responsibility."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the comparisons clearly, but recurring errors affect phrasing and clause control.
Improve comparative structures and subject-verb control, especially in the sentence describing women with three or more children.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.