The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.
Sample Response
The provided diagram shows the changes West Park Secondary School has undergone since it was establishedfirst established in 1950.
As is presented, the school has undergone major changeshas gone through some major changes and has also retained some featureshas also remained the same since 1950. The diagrams showWhen looking at the diagrams, you can see that the main school building has not changed at all. An additional building was constructedThere was an additional building added on in 1980 called the Science block which was added on part of the former housing areato accommodate the increase in student enrolments, which it was not anticipating. The only other major changes have occurred in the surrounding areasmajor changes have been to its surroundings. According to the school’s 2010 layoutlayout diagram of the year 2010, there has been an increase in the size of the car park compared with the 1980 school layoutthe car park compared to the 1980’s school layout diagram. To increaseWhen deciding to increase the school car parkschool car park area, the sports field and playground were reducedcertain school facilities had to be sacrificed, for instance, the sports field is about one-third of its former sizea third of its size compared to the 1980’s school layout diagram. The playground was also reduced substantially from its original sizedownsized by a quarter of its original size in 1950 and 1980.
Overall,My conclusion is that these changes were madechanges had to be done in order to accommodate a major increase in student enrolmentincrease in enrolments of students since its establishment in 1950 Deleteand maybe also due to the growth in population and developments in their area.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The report clearly notes the unchanged main building and the later expansion of the car park, sports-field reduction, and smaller playground. Its main limitation is incomplete and partly speculative coverage: it omits how houses and farmland were replaced in 1980 and invents enrolment and population reasons that the maps do not show. The highest priority is an objective, chronological account of every major land-use replacement across the three years.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Several visible changes are described, but major 1950-to-1980 replacements are omitted and unsupported explanations for the developments are introduced.
Report that the houses became a car park and science block and the farmland became a sports field, without speculating about enrolment or population.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a broadly chronological progression with a clear introduction and overview, although the main paragraph is repetitive and unevenly focused.
Use one paragraph for the 1950-to-1980 changes and another for the 1980-to-2010 changes, linking locations consistently.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for describing maps and change, with some useful variation, but repetition and imprecise phrasing reduce flexibility.
Use concise change verbs such as replaced, converted, expanded, and reduced instead of repeatedly referring to the layout diagram.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms communicates the main ideas, but awkward relative clauses, repetition, punctuation, and possessive errors recur.
Simplify overloaded sentences and check relative clauses and decade forms, using 1980 rather than the possessive 1980's.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.