In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.
Sample Response
With the improvement in medical treatment and better nutrition, senior citizensthe senior citizens are enjoying a longer lifespan in the industrialised countries. While this is good news, it does create some issues for both individuals and societythe individual and the society. This essay will present two main problemstwo possible scenarios and the solutions to reduce their negative impactsolutions to alleviate their negative impacts.
On a personal level, living longer means peopleyou need to have more savings to spend in those extra years. It is common to see some old people become financially insecurego broke in their early retirement and become homeless on the street. For example, in my neighbourhood, I usually see a woman in her seventies dressed in very old and dirty clothes and wanderwonder around the dumpsters looking for food. It is heartbreaking to see this. In order to reduce the likelihood of running out of money, I believe education on financial planning is the key. People should receive free training on how to sensibly contribute to their pension during working years, as well as how to invest safely and how to keep a certain proportion of savings as athe safety net.
In terms of the pressure on society, with the increase of the elderly, more money and resources would be allocated to take care of them. More medical staff are needed and more old people's homes are to be built. One way to reduce this pressure is that senior citizens can still contributeOn the other hand, the senior citizens can still contribute to societyto the society if proper regulations are introduced. For instance, the government can welcome healthy and active older peoplethe healthy and energetic old people to re-enter the workforce and use their accumulated knowledge to add value to companiesadd values to the companies. If old people prefer to stay with their families, they can also help with childcare and householdhouse chores.
To conclude, the rising life expectancy brings its own issues to the individual as well as to the society. However, effective measures can be taken to mitigate these issues and in the long run, the senior citizens should be treasured and encouraged to create more valuevalues for the community.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response addresses both individual and societal effects of longer life expectancy and proposes relevant measures, with logical organisation and generally controlled language. Its main limitation is that the wider social consequences are not explored beyond care costs and workforce participation, and a few expressions remain imprecise. The highest priority is to add a developed consequence such as pension or healthcare pressure and link each proposed solution directly to it.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses both problems and measures, with a clear focus on individuals and society. The ideas are relevant and developed, though the societal impact could be broadened beyond care costs and workforce participation.
Add one more society-level consequence, such as pension pressure or healthcare funding, and connect each solution directly to that pressure.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is logical and progression is easy to follow, moving from personal effects to social effects and then a conclusion. Some linking is slightly mechanical and the third paragraph shifts from problems to solutions without a very clear transition.
Use topic sentences that signal both parts of the paragraph, for example: One social pressure is cost, but it can be reduced by keeping healthy older people active.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible enough for the topic, with useful phrases about pensions, resources, and the workforce. A few choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as wonder around, add values, and the repeated use of old people.
Replace informal or inaccurate wording with precise academic phrases such as older adults, wander, contribute value, and financial security.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally controlled and complex sentences are used effectively. There are still noticeable article, plural, and word-form errors, but they rarely interfere with meaning.
Check fixed noun phrases with articles and plural forms, especially society, the elderly, values, and a safety net.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.