In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.
Sample Response
Development has brought numerous benefits to human society like low infant mortalityhigh birth mortality, high life expectancy etc. At the same time, there are many new challenges which have cropped up as a side effect of the development. For example, the ageing population inis developed countries has created an enormous financial burden. This essay will elaborate on a fewwould elaborate about few of the effects of the ageing population on developed societies and would also talk about few possible steps which can be taken to overcome these problems. A country needs working-age populationworking masses to produce enough output to sustain its population. These younger workersyounger generation working people are the backbone of the financial system and add to Gross Domestic Product, a benchmark of development index. In developed countries, it is argued that the population ratio is skewed towards older people who are contributing lessadding least to the gross domestic output and hence creating a financial burden on working people and governmentsworking masses and to the governments. China was the fastest-growing economyChina was fastest growing economy till last decade when it had most of its population younger and hence in working ageworkable condition. With development, its population isI older now due to various reasons including higher life expectancy. This has significantly brought down China's growth because there are fewer people to work in its factories. Hence, we can see clearly see the linkclearly link the financial degradation occurring in developed and developing nations to its growing aged people. But, as it is said, every problem has a solution, this problem has a solution tooso has to this problem too. Governments should first try to attack the root cause directly by encouraging citizens to opt for more children. Tax rebates and other incentives should be given to families who have more than 3 children. This may ease the problem in the long termThis will solve the problem in near term. As an immediate solution, the laws should be tweaked to encourage immigration. Younger and productive people from developing countries would help elevate the gross domestic output immediately. These measures, as one can see, are increasingly becomingbeing popular in the United States and Canada. Therefore, while financial impact of the ageing population is huge but it can easily be overcome by taking certain measures like allowing foreign immigrants and encouraging high birth rate.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies important economic pressures from an ageing population and proposes relevant measures such as immigration and incentives for larger families. However, the discussion is narrowly centred on labour and national output, with little coverage of individual consequences, and the single-paragraph structure plus frequent language errors weakens clarity. Prioritise distinct paragraphs on individual and social problems, then connect each proposed measure directly to the specific pressure it is intended to reduce.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay addresses both problems and measures related to ageing populations, especially financial pressure, labour shortages, immigration, and higher birth rates. However, it focuses heavily on economic effects and gives limited attention to individual problems such as healthcare, retirement, loneliness, or family care.
Add one paragraph on individual impacts and one on social impacts, then match each measure to a specific problem.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a recognizable introduction, problem discussion, solutions, and conclusion, but it is written as one long paragraph. Progression is generally understandable, though some examples, especially China, are not clearly tied to developed countries.
Use clear paragraph breaks and topic sentences for financial burden, labour shortage, and policy solutions.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for the topic, with phrases such as financial burden, working population, gross domestic output, tax rebates, incentives, and immigration. Accuracy is reduced by awkward or incorrect phrases such as high birth mortality, working masses, workable condition, and financial degradation.
Use precise demographic terms: low infant mortality, working-age population, labour force, economic slowdown, and ageing population.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is mostly clear, but grammar errors are frequent in articles, prepositions, agreement, verb forms, and sentence construction. Several long sentences need clearer clause boundaries.
Break long sentences into shorter units and check subject-verb agreement in phrases such as population is and people are.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.