Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
Nowadays, mobile phones have become an integralinevitable part of life. Although they have made communication much easiermade the communication much easier in every aspect of our daily livesin each step of our daily life, some people argueopine that they should be restricted in public places such as libraries, shops and public transportvehicles. I totally supportI, totally, support the view and I support it for the following reasonsthe reasons for this will be discussed below.
Firstly, public places are usually expected to be quiet and peaceful so that they are acceptable to everyone and the useuses of mobile phones in such places are likely to disrupt the desired quiet environmentdesirable working environment. For instance, in a library, where people are reading or studying bookspondering over the books, the frequent mobile-phone ringtonesconstant mobile ringtones or phone conversationsthe phone conversation can be intrusive and irritatingwill be intrusive or irritating.
Secondly, the use of mobile phones for distractingluring activities such as chatting on Facebookas facebook chatting, taking pictures, playing games, listening to musiclistening songs and so on can be disruptivecan prove to be undesirable in public places. It is quite noticeable that these days, teenagers are taking pictures everywhere, at libraries, trains, buses, roads, hospitals etc which is a matter of annoyance. An example of this is my friend, who once was taking selfies continuously on the train when the passenger beside her got offended. For these reasons, restrictions on mobile phone use in public placesrestrictions on mobile phones on public places would help createwould prove to be useful in creating a sense of comfort in public.
In a nutshell, although the merits of mobile phones are numerous, it would be definitely a good decisiona definitely good decision to ban them in public places as it would create a sense of comfort and a harmonious environment for all.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay maintains a clear position and uses concrete examples to show how phone use can disturb others, with logical paragraphing throughout. Its main limitation is that the case for a blanket ban across libraries, shops, and public transport is overgeneralised, while frequent awkward word choices reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to distinguish quiet venues from ordinary public spaces and justify proportionate restrictions for each setting.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is consistent and supported with relevant examples of noise and intrusive behaviour, but the argument does not justify banning all phone use across very different public settings.
Distinguish between silent-phone rules in libraries and restrictions on disruptive behaviour in shops or public transport.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses clearly through an introduction, two focused reasons, and a conclusion, although its linking is somewhat mechanical.
Use more specific topic sentences instead of relying mainly on 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' to signal progression.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary for the topic, but recurrent inaccurate collocations such as 'luring activities,' 'public vehicles,' and 'listening songs' reduce precision.
Use natural alternatives such as 'recreational activities,' 'public transport,' and 'listening to music'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the main ideas, but errors with articles, plurals, prepositions, and word order occur regularly.
Proofread noun phrases and prepositions, especially forms such as 'mobile-phone use,' 'in public places,' and 'a good decision'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.