Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
At recent years, there is an ongoing debate whether giving dire punishment to driving offences are the best solution to overcome severe accidents in roads or not. While some support this idea, many others believe that governments should improve road safetyprovide improvements in road safety. This essay will try to discuss both views with several considerations presented belowconsiderations given underneath.
People are not encouraged to drive safelynot prompted to engage safety driving because there are no regulations requiring drivers to be more carefulregulations relating to drivers to be more careful on the road. This can be seenIt can be found in developing countries where traffic is poorly managedthe traffic is not well arranged and as a result, the number of serious accidentsthe numbers of terrible accidents remains highremain dominant. By contrastDissimilar with it, developed countries pay more attention to this issuepay more attentions in this case by restricting the use of vehicles without a licence, limitingwithout licence limiting the top speed in certain busy areas such as boulevards and main roads, and imposing finesfine for all types of offencesall the offence forms at high ratesin high rate, and as a result, these countries can reduceovercome traffic accidents.
However, governments must make every effort togovernments with all efforts must improve the road-safety infrastructureinfrastructure of safety riding. Traffic signs should be renewed, the facilities in the road are supposed to be changed, etc. so the drivers can recognise the driving surroundings vividly. Furthermore, technology is also essentialtechnologies are also urgent to deal with daunting events in driving environment. It is good news that innovative technologiesoutrageously inventions have been created and applied but still technological researchattempts in technology findings are required.
In conclusion, while there are regulations to be defined, governments together with scientists, engineers, and car businessmen have to maximise in providing safety riding facilities to gain maximum result on this issue.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The essay addresses both stricter enforcement and alternative road-safety measures, and its conclusion favours a combined focus on regulation, infrastructure, and technology. Its strongest feature is the recognizable two-sided structure; the main limitation is that the alternative measures remain vague and the writer’s comparative judgment is not explicit enough. The priority is to state which approach is more effective and develop specific measures, such as road design, driver education, and vehicle-safety technology, with clear causal explanations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed through enforcement and infrastructure or technology, but support is general and the writer’s required opinion is only indirectly expressed.
State a direct comparative opinion and explain how one specific punishment and two alternative measures would reduce accidents.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay uses a clear introduction, two body sections, and conclusion, though weak internal links and vague examples limit the progression within paragraphs.
Give each body paragraph a precise topic sentence and connect every example to its expected effect on accident rates.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts relevant road-safety vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations such as “dire punishment,” “safety riding,” and “outrageously inventions” obscure meaning.
Use precise terms such as “severe penalties,” “safe driving,” “road infrastructure,” “vehicle-safety technology,” and “reduce accident rates.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in agreement, articles, plurals, prepositions, modifiers, and complex sentence formation occur, sometimes making details difficult to follow.
Build shorter clauses and check forms such as “penalties are,” “on the roads,” “pay more attention,” “impose high fines,” and “innovative technologies.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.