World history suggests that violence and conflict were more evident under male leadership than under female leadership. So, for peace to prevail, female leadership can be considered as a better option than male leadership. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
If we examineddelved through the major historical archives, it would be noticeable that many wars and conflictsconflict occurred under male leadershipunder a male leadership. This observation led some analysts to favourled to some analysts to favouring female leadershipa female leadership in order to maintain peace and harmony. This approach proposing gender-based leadershippurporting leadership based on gender to attain peace seemed flawed and simplistic. Instead, it would appearInstead if would appear that leadership should be chosen based on democracy and the most qualified leader for the job. On the one hand, supporters offor female leadership cite the numerous wars and conflicts under male leadership such as Adolf Hitler or Benitto Mussolini. However, it can also be argued that a significant number of atrocities likewise occurredhad likewise occurred under female leaders such as Queen Elizabeth during the Iron Age. Additionally, those who support female leadershipfemales' leadership may citequote their innate nurturing and non-aggressive characteristics as opposed to men's innate aggressiveness. HoweverSimilarly, this would seem an inaccurate statement as observed in the aforementioned argument. On balance, it would be more sensible to elect a leader through a democratic processelect a leader based on democracy and their qualificationshis/her qualifications. Firstly, a nation's citizens should ideally be granted the rightbe endowed a right to vote for a leader out of their own free will. Additionally, the most qualified person for the roleleadership may be another useful criterion. These qualifications may includeThis characteristic may range from their previous experience as leaders, favourable leadership qualities and innate morale. Secondly, we all have to acknowledge changes in gender rolesthe metamorphosis of gender's role. It may be that more violence occurredmore violence was suffered under male leadership because fewer females were allowed in that role. To summarise, it would appear that the approach to claim that peace would prevail under female leaders as rather simplistic. Ultimately, what would seem more crucial is for the most qualified person irrespective of gender should be chosen by citizens out of their own free will
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear, consistent rejection of gender-based leadership and develops a thoughtful alternative based on democratic choice, qualifications, and unequal historical access to power. Its strongest reasoning is weakened by a few questionable examples, awkward lexical choices, recurrent grammatical errors, and the absence of paragraph breaks. The main priority is to divide the argument into purposeful paragraphs and express each sophisticated point in more controlled, idiomatic sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The task is addressed directly through a consistent position, relevant counterarguments, and a well-developed explanation that historical gender imbalance distorts the comparison.
Strengthen the response by using historically accurate evidence and explaining more precisely how democratic selection and qualifications lead to peaceful leadership.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from the disputed claim to counterevidence and alternative criteria, but the entire response is presented as one paragraph and some links are repetitive.
Separate the introduction, rebuttal, alternative argument, and conclusion into clear paragraphs so the strong conceptual progression is immediately visible.
Lexical Resource
A broad range of less common vocabulary conveys nuanced ideas, although several collocations and word forms are inaccurate or overly strained.
Use advanced vocabulary more selectively and revise combinations such as support for, entitled to vote, and changing gender roles for idiomatic precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used and meaning remains clear, but errors in complementation, agreement, articles, and sentence construction recur.
Check every complex sentence for a single complete grammatical frame, especially after reporting verbs, comparative clauses, and concluding constructions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
World history suggests that violence and conflict were more evident under male leadership than under female leadership. So, for peace to prevail, female leadership can be considered as a better option than male leadership. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.