Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Some people argue whether criminals should always be subject to fixed punishment for certain crimes or the circumstances of the crimesituations for committing the crime should be taken into account before imposinginflicting punishment. This essay will examine both sides of the argument, but I am personally inclined to the latter view that suggests considering circumstances of a crime while sentencing someone.
On the one hand, some criminal activities may be reducedcriminal activities have reduced significantly over the centuries in the history of humankind. Fixed punishments like the death penalty and life imprisonment for drug traffickingthe death penalty, life imprisonment for drug trafficking deter offendersdeter an offender from such heinous crimes. The ruthlessness of such harsh punishments can ensure safety and securityensured safety and security in society. For instance, according to a publication on criminal justice from the C.I.A, many Middle Eastern countriesmany middle countries have been consistently ranking near the top for low crime ratesnear top regarding achieving a low-crime index due to their aggressive law for enforcing fixed punishments for designated crimes. Nevertheless, the main objective of the the justice systemlaw and order is to protect the innocents and punish the wrongdoers. The fixed punishment often contradictscontradicts with the fundamental objective of civil society.
On the other hand, punishingpersecuting a convict violatesviolate human rights; often without considering the factors that led to the crimethe aspects leading to such crime. Consider Saudi Arabia, ranked as the country with the lowest crime index in the world. The state’s implementation of a strict fundamentalist approach to punishpersecute criminals regardless of the circumstances of the crime has drawn criticismflak from many human rights organisations. Amnesty International reported that fair trials are deniedprohibited to criminals even if they are wrongly convicted. Finally, in my opinion, a convicted person should be given punishment only based on the circumstances and severity of the crime. For example, if someone murders in the act of self-defence, the verdict given should not amount to a life sentencelife-sentence.
In conclusion, I believe that both groups of the argument, for and against the fixed punishments, have their reasons. However, I think that penalties should be decided according to variedvariant circumstances of criminals and keeping in mind that the aim of punishment to prevent further crimes from happeningto prevent further crimes to happen.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents both sides and maintains a clear preference for sentencing that considers individual circumstances, supported by relevant legal and human-rights ideas. Its main weakness is that several examples are broad or insufficiently supported, while the case for fixed penalties is mixed with criticism rather than developed fairly; prioritise a more balanced explanation of deterrence before linking it to a distinct, well-organised personal position.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response discusses both views and gives a clear preference for considering circumstances. The argument is relevant, though some examples are overgeneralised or unsupported and the fixed-punishment side could be more clearly separated from criticism.
Explain the advantages of fixed penalties more fairly before showing why individual circumstances should still influence sentencing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay uses paragraphing and logical contrast, but some ideas are crowded into long paragraphs and the opinion appears inside the second body paragraph rather than being developed separately.
Give your opinion its own final body section and use clearer links between deterrence, fairness, and human rights.
Lexical Resource
The essay uses a reasonable range of legal and social vocabulary. Inaccurate word choices such as persecuting, middle countries, drawn flak, and variant circumstances reduce precision.
Replace imprecise legal vocabulary with terms such as prosecuting, sentencing, mitigating circumstances, and fair trial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted and meaning is mostly clear. Errors with agreement, prepositions, articles, and verb patterns are frequent enough to affect accuracy.
Check subject-verb agreement and preposition choice in each complex sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
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