Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is true that we should hate crimes, not the criminals as they are also the human being. Evidence shows that good individuals are forced to commit a crime and are convicted and many ex-prisoners become normal members of our society. Since they have suffered from isolation and punishmentfrom the isolation and punishment, they can share their experience with teenagers and encourage them to abide by the laws and rules. To begin with, rehabilitated offenders have experience of prison lifeexperience about the prison life and the types of wrongdoing people get involved in. They can share those experiencesexperience with teenagerswith the teenagers and young people are more likely to accept advice from someone who speaks from real life experience. This can be an effective way to show adolescentsa great arrangement to let the adolescents know how someone gets involved in a crime and how they suffer as a resulthow they suffer for this. It would discourage them from committing crimes and encourage them to become good citizensand become good citizens. I presume those teenagers will have many questions and the ex-prisoners are the best peoplepersons to answer themthose and this will have a powerful impact on young mindsthe fresh minds. Moreover, people who have been punished by the law would benefit from this arrangement as well. They would feel better afterby sharing their stories and this is a great way to avoid crimestay away from crimes for these people. They would also feel connected to societyconnected to the society and would be glad to be doingglad for doing something good. Alternative ways of educating young people about the menaces of committing a crime are letting teachers educate students. However, in my opinion, this is less effectivethis is not that efficient as students would treat them as classroom lecturestreat those as class lectures, not real life interesting stories to listen to carefully. Educating students through stories and films can also be effective but they are not as interactivenot as much interactive as sessions with ex-prisoners. To conclude, we should educate our young generation about the consequences of committing crimes and I believe they would learn this better from reformed prisoners who speakspeaks from their experience.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and develops several relevant reasons why rehabilitated offenders can influence teenagers, including a useful comparison with teachers and media. Its main weakness is presentation and language control: the entire essay forms one paragraph, and recurring agreement, article, plural, and collocation errors reduce polish. Prioritise dividing the argument into purposeful paragraphs and proofreading core grammatical patterns while retaining the clear line of reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement is sustained and supported with relevant reasons, benefits, and comparisons with alternative forms of education.
Develop the central claim more critically by explaining when reformed prisoners would be especially effective and acknowledging practical limits.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a broadly logical sequence, but the absence of paragraph divisions weakens the organisation and makes progression less easy to follow.
Separate the rationale, benefits for offenders, comparison with alternatives, and conclusion into clearly focused paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably broad topic vocabulary, although recurring unnatural combinations and imprecise expressions limit control.
Use more natural collocations for prison experience, social reintegration, young audiences, and interactive educational sessions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex sentences, but frequent article, agreement, number, and comparison errors reduce accuracy.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement and singular-plural consistency, then check articles and comparative structures during proofreading.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.