It is said that day-by-day people’s lives are becoming increasingly stressful. What are the reasons behind that? What can be done to solve this problem?
Sample Response
Nowadays, the development of technologydeveloping of technology has created more stressful living conditions for peoplemore stressful living conditions to humans. I believe that overpopulation and financial pressuresexpenditure factors are two leading reasons for that, and some practical solutions should be implemented to tackle them. Obviously, stress has been intensified globally due to two important reasons. One is the increasing densityThe one is increasing the density of population globally. Birth rates have fundamentally grown, especially in cities, during the last centuryduring last century, creating more stressful conditions for residentsmaking more stressful situations to dwellers. For example, in India and China, their populations have increasedtheir population have escalated considerablyfar considerably over the last three decadessince last three decades, reaching almost half of total world’s population. As a result, inhabitants are annoyed more by traffic jams or noise pollution coming from vehicles. To reduce this growth, governments and organisations should consider more practical methods to slow the escalation of the population on Earth via popularising the contraceptive methods among couples or encouraging urban inhabitants to move and live in suburb areas. Another reason is the increase in living costsenhancement of living spending. Individuals have to work longer hours than the past to be able to afford their regular expenses, including Internet billsbill, house mortgage or car lease; however, before people did not have to pay these bills. In addition, citizens paycitizens used to paid more for their journeys than the past. With access to more low-cost airlines and resortsAccessing to more low-cost airlines or resorts, individuals are motivated to spend more on them annually; therefore, they have to work longer hours and have more stressful lifestyles to pay for thempay them. To tackle this issue, the related authorities are better to consider more restrictions on workloads, which have been on of leading reasons for having a more anxious living condition. In conclusion, anxiety has been raised notably. Inclining the density of population and growing of expenditures are two important reasons for that, and administrations should control them and reducesubside people’s stress. If governments limit these two factorsHad governments limited these two factors, the level of stress would have been reduced far considerably.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s clearest strength is that it identifies recognizable causes of stress and proposes solutions for both population pressure and rising living costs. Its main weakness is that the links between these causes, everyday stress, and the proposed remedies are sometimes loose, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors reduce clarity. Prioritise two clearly separated cause-solution paragraphs, each with a direct explanation and one realistic example, then edit for standard word combinations and sentence accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay answers both parts of the question and gives identifiable causes and solutions. However, the argument is sometimes narrow, population control is only loosely connected to everyday stress, and the solution for work pressure is underdeveloped.
Make each cause-solution pair explicit: explain exactly how it creates stress, then give a practical remedy with one realistic example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear introduction, body and conclusion, but progression is weakened by one very long body paragraph and several abrupt shifts between population, costs, travel and workloads.
Use separate body paragraphs for population pressure and cost/work pressure, with a final sentence in each paragraph linking the cause back to stress.
Lexical Resource
There is enough topic vocabulary to communicate the ideas, but frequent word-choice and collocation problems make the writing sound unnatural, such as "expenditure factors", "enhancement of living spending" and "subside people’s stress".
Use simpler standard collocations: "living costs", "population density", "reduce stress", "traffic congestion", and "financial pressure".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of structures is attempted, but article use, verb forms, prepositions and sentence control are inconsistent. These errors are frequent enough to reduce clarity in several sentences.
Edit every sentence for subject-verb agreement, article use and verb form before adding more complex conditional or participle structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is said that day-by-day people’s lives are becoming increasingly stressful. What are the reasons behind that? What can be done to solve this problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.