Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Many believe that music is an effective means of strengthening the bond between people from different cultural backgrounds and generations. From my perspective, I wholeheartedly agree with this point of view.
To begin with, music has an exceptional ability to evoke a wide range of feelings in listenersfeelings of the listeners such as sadness, anger, and happiness regardless of where they come fromregardless of their country of origin. Although it is true that the lyrics of a song might be incomprehensible due to athe language barrier, its melody is linguistically neutral. In fact, in order to appreciatefeel the melody of a song, the listener does not need to fully understand the language in which the song is written. For example, a Vietnamese may fall in love with a Korean pop song or a Japanese may shed tears while listening to a melancholic piece of music composedwritten by an American musician. This is clear evidencea clear evidence that shows music is a universal language that transcends all cultural boundaries.
In addition, music provides common groundmusic is a common ground for people to understand each other better irrespective of their age. Nowadays, it is not surprising to see that young individuals are fondto see young individuals are fond of the nostalgic feel of a song released years ago, whileand likewise, modern music genres such as hip-hop, rap, and techno are also becoming increasingly popular amongst older people. For instance, it is commonplace to see family members from different generationsa family of different generations gathered together in a karaoke room, singing and dancing to the same song with much joy.
In conclusion, music is an important part of people’s lives and it can also act as a powerful means of uniting people of different cultures and ages.different cultures and ages
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear position and develops two focused, persuasive arguments with well-chosen cross-cultural and intergenerational examples. Its principal limitation is a small number of awkward grammatical constructions and collocations that interrupt an otherwise fluent academic style. The best improvement would be to proofread sentence patterns and noun phrases carefully so that the language matches the strength and precision of the ideas.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is explicit throughout, and both cultural and age dimensions are fully addressed with relevant explanation and examples.
Add a little more evaluation of how shared musical experiences create lasting social connection to deepen an already complete response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices and referencing used clearly and unobtrusively overall.
Reduce minor repetition between adjacent explanations so that each sentence contributes a distinct step to the argument.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and appropriately academic, with only occasional awkward combinations such as feelings of the listeners and a clear evidence.
Refine article use and collocations in a final lexical check, for example evidence rather than a clear evidence.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used with strong control, though a few errors occur in complementation and noun-phrase construction.
Correct patterns such as see young individuals being fond of or see that young individuals are fond of during proofreading.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.