Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?
Sample Response
Increasing numbers of people have become increasingly fondalready become fond of travelling all over the world and the trend continues to be evident even in recent yearsduring these recent times. Travelling has become a hobby among peopledifferent individuals regardless of age, sex and race. Some people believe that increased travelling nowadays is because of many reasons including better communication and technological advancement and benefits of travelling to travellers are huge.
To begin with, one of the major reasons why travellers these days are motivated to travel to different placestravel different places is because of growing opportunities and demand abroadincreasing opportunities and demands abroad. In abroad, people can visit their countries of choices to study as international students, work as a professional passionately and the appealing part of grabbing to become future immigrants because of the various benefits they will inherit compared to their country of origin. For example, my aunt decided to work as a licensed nurse in the USA and due to her persistent work ethicundying hardworking attitude, she successfully submitted all the required credentialssubmitted complete credentials and passed the exams requiredpassed exams required for professional registration.
Another reason why people travel often is that they want to build a travel historyget stamps in their passports whenever possible. In this way, people will have easier access to traveleasy access of travelling to places they want to visitplaces they wanted without hesitation or difficultywithout hesitations or difficulties. They have a lower chancethe least chances of having their visa applications denied by embassiesbeing denied by the embassies after being called for an interviewafter calling up for an interview.
Cheap air travelThe cheap air travel, better communication systemssystem and ability to work from anywherefacility to work at anyplace have also inspired people to visit more frequently.
In conclusion, when people travel more, they will learn the benefits of learning and using other languagesbenefits of using other languages and will develop a multicultural outlookwill develop multiculturalism in terms of values, beliefs and attitudes.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response offers several identifiable reasons for increased travel and maintains a generally understandable progression, with some relevant vocabulary for migration and international experience. However, the benefits to travellers are confined mainly to the conclusion, while frequent awkward word choices and sentence constructions reduce precision; the top priority is to develop two clear benefit paragraphs with specific explanation and then edit each sentence for natural collocation and grammatical completeness.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Several reasons for increased travel are presented, but benefits for travellers receive only a brief, undeveloped statement in the conclusion.
Develop at least two distinct traveller benefits in the body, each supported by an explanation or concrete example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognisable sequence and generally clear paragraphing, though some ideas are unevenly developed and the benefits appear abruptly.
Organise the essay into balanced sections for reasons and benefits, with each paragraph centred on one clearly developed idea.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient topic vocabulary to discuss travel and migration, but frequent unnatural collocations and imprecise word choices weaken clarity.
Replace awkward phrases with standard combinations such as travel abroad, employment opportunities, and easier access to visas.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex sentences, but frequent errors in articles, prepositions, agreement, and clause construction reduce control.
Build shorter complete clauses first, then check articles and prepositions before combining them into more complex sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.