Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Nowadays, the co-educational system is considered the best optionis considered as the best option in many countries. Some believe that it is better for young women and men to studybetter that young females and males study separately, while others arguemention that studying together can be more beneficial. I will discuss both sides and will give my opinion.
On the one hand, those who believe education should be separated by genderthose believing that education systems should be a separate gender-based system have their own reasons. One is that this method can be safer. Every year, numerous sexual offences are reported in local or national newsreported by the local or national news, involving raperegarding of rape or other inappropriate sexual behaviourbehaviours, especially in countries permitting both genders to study in one school. However, studying in single-gender-institutions can reduce the number of these incidentsthe rate of these figures. As a prime example, thousands of sexual assaults are reported in the U.S. schools annually but had the government considered unisex education, these rates would have dramatically decreased. Another reason is that this system may cause religious conflictraise religious conflicts. In some countries, some opponents are not interested in sending their children to these types of schools, and this has become a contentious issuebecome hot potato between different religious groups. For instance, French MuslimIslamic citizens prefer their children to study in a single sex school, whereas the administration admits both genders in one schoolone educational place.
On the other hand, I personally supportgive a green light to those supporting the co-educational systemsupporting co-educational system. The first reason behind it is that this system definitely would be less costly. Clearly, to divide girls and boys, governments have to spend more money on education because they cannot use empty spaces of a female school for a male one, or vice versa. As a result, fewerless educational facilities should be provided for scholars, declining the total education budget. Furthermore, this method can improve students’ communication skills. Obviously, having a better relationship with the opposite sex, juveniles will have a closer relationship not only during their study but during their matrimonial life. They generally have fewer marriage problems with their partner due to having a better experience before. In this way, Sigmund Freud, a well-known psychologista very familiar former psychologist, believesbelieve that humans’ social skills are fundamentally developed as they have closer feelings to their opposite sex during childhood.
In conclusion, although in some countries co-educational system is not popular, I agree with it. Not only in this measure more governmental budget can be saved, but youth can have better relationships with the opposite gender. Hopefully, a global tendency will propagate this method of education in the near future.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay discusses both educational models at length, organises the contrasting views clearly, and maintains an explicit preference for mixed schools. However, several supporting claims are questionable or imprecisely reasoned, and frequent unnatural expressions weaken otherwise ambitious language. The highest-priority improvement is to build each argument from a defensible cause-and-effect explanation, then replace forced idioms and inaccurate collocations with precise academic wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and the writer's opinion are addressed with substantial development, but some reasons rely on doubtful assumptions or unclear logic.
Use more credible evidence and explain how each proposed benefit follows directly from the school model being discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and overall progression are clear, though references such as this system or this method occasionally become ambiguous.
Name the relevant school model explicitly whenever the discussion shifts between single-sex and co-educational schooling.
Lexical Resource
The response displays a broad vocabulary, but frequent miscollocations and forced idioms reduce precision and naturalness.
Prefer accurate academic expressions over phrases such as give a green light, hot potato, and propagate this method.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied complex structures successfully at times, but article, agreement, modifier, and sentence-pattern errors remain noticeable.
Revise complex sentences for clear subjects and correct agreement, particularly after introductory participial phrases and in inverted structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.