In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Sample Response
In some countries, educationaleducation institutions are facing problems with students’ attitudesthe student's attitude and behavior. The following essay will discussdiscuss about some of the reasons that have caused the situation, and some of the steps that can be taken to address the issue.
It is a fact that a lot of schools have severe problems with their students' personalities and attitudespersonality and attitude. Many of the children have become overreactiveoverreacted or showing negative behavior during class timeduring the class hours. Some education experts believe that the negative attitude of the children is mainly due to a lack of parental attentionthe lack of attention of the parents. It is a common thing that both parents are working these days, and they would only have such limited timea limited time for their children. As a result, some of the children have behaved badlyacted negatively at home and school to get the attention of their parents, teachers or friends. Furthermore, it is undeniable that video games have affected the mindset of the children nowadays. A lot of children are behaving aggressively due to the games that they often play, which shows a lot of violence and violentsadistic scenes. Consequently, several children think that fighting or teasing their friends is a normal activity.
There are several things that people can do to resolve the problems. Firstly, the school should have a regular coordination meetingsperiodical coordination or a routine meeting with parents to discuss their children’s attitudesdiscuss about their children attitude. The school should always remind parents about spending some quality timespending some quality and giving more attention to the children. Secondly, teachersteacher should also recommend parents to monitor the children's activities, especially in the types of digital games they playplayed or the types of movies they watched. Since many video gamesSince, many video games or films are showing inappropriate acts or scenes which might affect children’s mindswhich might distract the children's mind.
In conclusion, it is true that the negative behavior of some students has becomebehavior of some students become one of the main problems of many schools nowadays. Many people believe that it is due to the lack of attentiondue the lack attention of the working parents these days, and the impact of video games. Therefore, it is importantTherefore it is important for the schoolsschool and parents to cooperate in guiding the children.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay’s strongest feature is its clear, relevant coverage of both the causes of poor student behaviour and practical cooperation between schools and parents. Its main weakness is that the links between each cause and proposed remedy are not developed precisely enough, while frequent grammar and collocation errors reduce polish; prioritise explaining how each measure addresses a specific cause, then proofread articles, prepositions, and common education phrases.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both causes and solutions, focusing on parental attention and violent media, with relevant school-parent measures. Ideas are clear but would benefit from more precise explanation of how the solutions solve each cause.
Match each cause to a specific solution and explain the result, for example how parent meetings reduce disruptive behaviour.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is clearly organised into introduction, causes, solutions, and conclusion. Cohesion is adequate, though some transitions are formulaic and the solution paragraph could be more tightly sequenced.
Use clearer cause-to-solution links such as "To address this lack of attention..." and "To reduce exposure to violence...".
Lexical Resource
Topic vocabulary is generally appropriate, including attitude, aggressive, monitor, and inappropriate scenes. There are noticeable errors in collocation and word choice.
Learn common education collocations such as "student behaviour", "parent-teacher meetings", and "show aggressive behaviour".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses a range of sentence types, but grammar errors with articles, prepositions, plurals, and clauses occur frequently. Meaning remains clear overall.
Proofread for article use before singular countable nouns and avoid unnecessary commas after subordinators.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.