Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Same questionCompare 6 different answers (Band 5.5–8)

Sample Response

1

In my opinion, competition is a fundamental part of society and is essential for personal growth. However, many people argue that cooperation should be prioritized over competition.

2

On one hand, engaging in healthy competition at work and in daily life is essential for professional advancementfacing challenges at work and in daily life is essential for career development, as it allows people to unlock their true potential. For example, in sports and academics, competing with peers encourages students to push their limits and achieve higher standards.For example, many children today do not participate in diverse activities, which is a significant factor in rising depression rates. Encountering hurdles or competing with peers encourages individuals to push their limits and achieve their goals.

3

On the other hand, while competition is important, cooperation is equally crucial. Often, people encounter problems that are impossible to solve alone, and they require assistance. In school projects, for instance, students must work together toward a common goal. This demonstrates that helping others is just as important as competing.

4

In conclusion, challenges and struggles make people stronger, which is why healthy competition is essential. Nevertheless, at various points in life, individuals must choose to support one another rather than compete. Balance is key.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

5.0
Scoring rule

The response addresses both sides of the prompt and presents a clear position in the conclusion. However, the essay is significantly under-length (around 178 words, well below the 250-word minimum), which severely limits the development of the arguments.

Next step

Extend your body paragraphs by providing more relevant, fully developed examples and explanations. Ensure your essay meets the 250-word minimum to avoid a penalty.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

The essay has a clear overall structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is logical, and basic cohesive devices are used effectively.

Next step

Use a wider variety of cohesive devices and transition words to link ideas within paragraphs more smoothly.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

The vocabulary is generally appropriate and clear, with some good collocations. However, the range is somewhat limited due to the brevity of the essay.

Next step

Incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to competition, collaboration, workplace dynamics, and academic environments.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Scoring rule

The grammatical control is good, with very few errors. However, because the text is short, there is a limited range of complex structures demonstrated.

Next step

Introduce a wider variety of complex sentence structures, such as conditional sentences and passive voice, to demonstrate grammatical range.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your response

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