minutes on this task: Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view.
Sample Response
In order to be a good person in the futurea great human being in future, a child should be raised with strong moral valueswith great moral standards at home. The question of whetherThe topic whether women or men have the greater roleget a major role in raising the children is widely debated nowadaysis a huge debate nowadays. I think both parentsboth of the parents share equal responsibilitycredit in raising kids. Let’s considerponder on the contributions of both parentsthe advantages on both sides.
Primarily, women are often regarded as capable caregiverstreated as great caretakers and as central to their children’s futuresalso the one for great future of the kids. Children spend a large proportiona major chunk of their time with their mums. So, women get to teach children howteach kids on how to be better people in societya better person in the society and also on how to be a great human being. They provideShe provides nutritious foodfoods to the children which helps them stay healthywhich help them to become healthy. Children learn about how to take care of others from their mums because mothers always take good care of their children. This instils a great sense of responsibility in the children.
SecondlySecondarily, fathersmen (father) are regarded as role models for childrenare termed as their ideal person for children. Men always struggle so much in order to earn a livingwin bread for the family. This struggle teaches kids to study better with a dream to help the family financially in future. Fathers are often a source of inspiration for children on how to be a strong and better person in life. This helps them to grow as better and responsible citizens in future.
After looking at advantages from both sides of the argument, I conclude that both men and women share equal proportion in raising the children. Even if the proportion is not balanced, there will be a huge impact on the children. So both fathersfather and mothers hold a major role in the family.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear view that mothers and fathers deserve equal credit and organises its support into distinct discussions of each parent’s contribution. Its main weakness is that the examples rely on broad generalisations and repeatedly use vague terms such as “great” and “better,” while grammar errors reduce precision. The priority is to explain complementary parenting roles with more specific language and controlled agreement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and both parents’ roles are discussed with relevant explanations, but the reasoning is somewhat generalised and not explored in depth.
Explain how caregiving and financial or motivational support can be shared rather than assigning each function broadly by gender.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion create clear progression, although formulaic transitions and repeated ideas make the argument mechanical.
Use topic sentences that directly compare parental contributions and link the conclusion back to that comparison without repetition.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for the topic, but repetition and awkward collocations such as “get a major role,” “win bread,” and “share equal proportion” limit precision.
Use more exact phrases such as take a leading role, provide for the family, and share equal responsibility.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains understandable, but errors with agreement, articles, pronouns, plurals, and prepositions occur throughout the essay.
Check agreement in sentences about mothers, fathers, and children, and proofread article and plural choices in each noun phrase.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
minutes on this task: Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.