In many countries nowadays, young single people no longer stay with their parents until they are married, but leave to study or work somewhere else. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages?
Sample Response
Over the past few years, there has been an increasing trend of young adultsadolescents staying away from home and parents into another place for the purpose of getting a a good qualificationgood qualification or employment. There are various pros and cons of this trend which will be discussedwhich are elaborated in this essay.
On the one hand, I believe there are certain positive effects on the young peoplejuveniles who choose to study or work away from their homeresidence. Firstly, it helps the young ones to become more independent when the parents are not around them for constant supportspoon feeding. Moreover, they are able to make decisions by themselves whichthat makes them more confident. Secondly, the experience of living far from home makes the children more responsible at a very young age. For instance, a person doing a job will know how to manage expensescarry out the expenses and to save the money, when he is not living with parents. Finally, experiencing the different phases of life and learning from them can be possible when one is living away from his family.
On the other hand, the negative sides of this trend should not be ignored. Becoming independent and leaving parents for the career might cause the children to become emotionless and they may not feel the love that develops while living with parents. Furthermore, some of them can feel lonely and homesick that hinders their success toward which they are workingfor which they might be struggling.
In conclusion, considering both aspectsboth the aspects of living away from home for personal reasons, the advantages of this trenddrift far outweigh the disadvantages.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a clear comparative position and supports the advantages of independence and responsibility with a logical, easy-to-follow structure. The disadvantages are less fully developed, and recurring clause, article, and word-choice problems reduce precision despite generally clear meaning. Add one concrete example to the disadvantage paragraph, sharpen its topic sentence, and proofread relative clauses while replacing broad terms with natural references to young adults.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question clearly and presents advantages as stronger than disadvantages, with relevant points about independence, responsibility, loneliness, and family bonds.
Develop the disadvantage paragraph with one concrete example so the comparison feels more balanced.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organization is clear and logical, with effective paragraphing and basic sequencing; cohesion is sometimes mechanical but easy to follow.
Use more precise topic sentences and avoid formulaic phrases such as On the one hand when the paragraph already has a clear purpose.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is mostly adequate, with some less natural or overly broad words such as adolescents, juveniles, and drift.
Choose natural terms such as young adults, independence, emotional distance, and this trend.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally understandable, but there are recurring errors with relative clauses, articles, prepositions, and subject-verb agreement.
Proofread sentences containing that, which, and when because several of these clauses need tighter control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries nowadays, young single people no longer stay with their parents until they are married, but leave to study or work somewhere else. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.