The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.
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Sample Response
The graph provides a visual representation of the average monthly percentage changeaverage monthly percentage change in the prices of three different metals, namely copper, nickel and zinc in the year 2014.
Overall, the metals illustratedOverall, metals illustrated a fluctuation during the year. In january nickel was at its highest peakintermediate peek, before reporting a sharp decrease in number, from 6% to 1%from 6 to 1, in march. Between March and Maymarch and may, no major changes were recorded before June, when the number dropped to its lowest point, to -3%to -3. After this number showed a gradual recoveryfew increases, before reaching 1 at the end of the year.
As for zinc,As for the zinc, it reported a sharp increase in number between January and Februarybetween january and february, before starting to show a slight decrease in number over a three-month periodover 3-month period. In June, the number dropped significantlysigninficantly from 1% to -1%from 1 to -1. In the following months, zinc showed a stable number, before rising to 2 at the end of the year.
Lastly, coppernickel recorded a moderate decrease in number from the beginning of the year until Maytill may, before rising to 1 in July. Between July and September itin remained stable, before rising to approximately 1.5 in Decemberdecember after few reported changes.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response successfully identifies general trends but confuses the data for nickel and copper, leading to substantial factual inaccuracy. Key vocabulary is overly repetitive and frequently relies on the imprecise term 'number' rather than percentage change. Prioritizing accurate data matching and expanding line-graph vocabulary will produce the fastest improvement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Key trends are identified, but data for copper and nickel are mislabeled and confused, impairing factual accuracy.
Double-check line labels against the key to ensure every trend and data point is attributed to the correct metal.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphs group the data predictably, but progression is hindered by inconsistent tracking of the subjects.
Use accurate logical transitions and distinct subject markers to guide the reader clearly through each comparison.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is limited and relies repetitively on vague phrasing such as 'in number' alongside minor spelling mistakes.
Incorporate precise trend vocabulary such as 'percentage point change', 'dips', 'proportional rise', and 'peak'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent capitalization errors and awkward sentence constructions distract from the overall clarity of the description.
Practice proper capitalization of months and vary complex clause structures to describe temporal changes smoothly.