The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.
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Sample Response
The graph provides a visual representation of the average monthly percentage change in the prices of three different metals, namely copper, nickel and zinc in the year 2014.
Overall, the metals fluctuatedillustrated a fluctuation during the year. In January,In january nickel was at its highest peakpeek, before reporting a sharp decrease from 6%in number, from 6% to 1%, in March. Between March and May, no major changes were recorded before June, when the number dropped to its lowest point of -3%dropped to its lowest point, to -3%. After this number showed few increases, before reaching 1% atreaching 1 at the end of the year.
As for zinc, it reported a sharp increase Deletein number between January and February, before starting to show a slight decrease Deletein number over a three-month period. In June, the number dropped significantly from 1% to -1%. In the following months, zinc stabilized at -0.5%showed a stable number, before rising to 2% atrising to 2 at the end of the year.
Lastly, copper recorded a moderate decrease Deletein number from the beginning of the year untiltill May, before rising to 1% in July. Between July and September it remained stable, before rising to approximately 1.5% in Decemberdecember after minor fluctuations.after few reported changes.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response effectively organizes the description of all three metals and highlights key trends alongside specific data points. However, Task Achievement is slightly limited by repetitive phrasing regarding data units, and the writing contains repetitive vocabulary and minor capitalization and spelling errors. To improve, precise statistical terminology such as percentage change should replace vague terms, and greater variety in grammatical structures and vocabulary should be used.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview correctly identifies general fluctuations, and key trends for all three metals are reported with mostly accurate data points.
Refer explicitly to percentage changes rather than using the generic word number throughout the response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically grouped by metal into distinct paragraphs, maintaining a clear overall progression.
Vary cohesive expressions to avoid repeating structure patterns like before plus an -ing verb in every paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The response uses an adequate range of vocabulary to describe movement, though word choice is repetitive and contains minor spelling errors.
Incorporate a broader range of data description vocabulary such as proportion, percentage, and rate to reduce reliance on repetitive phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is attempted with clear overall meaning, despite minor punctuation and capitalization flaws.
Ensure proper capitalization of months and check prepositional structures to increase grammatical precision.