The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.
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Sample Response
The line graph illustratesdescribes data about the average monthly change in the prices of copper, nickel and zinc during 2014.
Overall, the average monthly changes in the prices of all three metals fluctuated over the period, and the most substantial fluctuation could be seen forin nickel. In contrast, copper experienced relatively smaller fluctuations. In addition, all three metals showed both increases and decreases during the year.
There was a marked drop in the monthly price change for nickelthe figure for nickel from 6% in January to 1% in Marchfrom 6% to 1% over the first two months, after which it fell substantially, reaching -3% in June. Then, a significant increase could be seen in this figure, from -3% in June to -1% in July, before remaining unchanged for three months. Moreover, this figure fell to -2% in October before rising markedly to 1% in Novemberfell from September to October before rising markedly from -1% to 1% in the next month, and the figure then remained unchanged.
The figure for zinc also showed a similar trend. After rising from 1% to 3% in February, the figure for zinc steadily declined until JuneA steady decline could be seen in the figure for zinc over the first five months, after which it increased before fluctuating during the following months. Moreover, the figure for copper changed relatively steadily during the year. After declining during the first half of the year, it remained relatively stable for several months before increasing towards the end of the period.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response features a clear overview and a well-structured paragraphing strategy that logically divides the description of the three metals. However, accuracy is compromised in the detailed reporting, notably misdescribing the early trajectory of zinc. To improve performance, ensure all detailed data points are accurately read from the graph before writing, particularly when reporting early trends or specific percentages.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview is included, but there are inaccuracies in describing key data features, such as zinc's trend at the start of the year.
Carefully trace each line sequentially against the vertical axis to ensure initial movements and numerical figures are reported accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into dedicated paragraphs with clear progression throughout the report.
Vary cohesive transitions beyond repetitive phrase structures like 'moreover' and 'this figure' to create smoother flow.
Lexical Resource
A good range of trend and change vocabulary is used with flexibility and precision.
Incorporate a wider variety of dynamic verbs and specific statistical descriptors to avoid reliance on general terms like 'changed'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good variety of complex sentence structures is used with strong grammatical control and few errors.
Maintain variety by combining simple descriptive sentences into complex participial phrases to avoid repetitive subject-verb patterns.