The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.
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Sample Response
The line graph illustratesdescribes data about the average monthly change in the prices of copperchange in prices of copper, nickel and zinc during 2014.
Overall, the average monthly change in prices of all three3 metals fluctuated significantly and the most substantial fluctuation could be seen in nickel. In contrast, the average monthly change in prices of nickel fluctuated steadily. In addition, the prices of three metals have substantial seasonal variationschanging.
There was a marked drop in the monthly price change for nickelThere was a marked drop in change in price compared with previous month for nickel from 6% to 1% over the first two2 months, after which it fell substantially, reaching -3% in June. Then, a significant recovery was recordedsignificant growth could be seen in this figure in July from -3% to -1% before remaining unchanged for three3 months. Moreover, this figure dropped to -2% in October before rising markedly to 1%this percentage sank from September to October before rising markedly from -1% to 1% in the next month and the figure then remained unchanged.
The figures for zinc also showedThe figures of zinc also have the same trend. A steady decline could be seen in the change in the monthly price change for zincin price compared with previous month for zinc from February to Juneover the 5 months, after which, it increased from approximately -0.5% to 1%, before fluctuating between 0.5% andto 1.5%. Moreover, the figure for copper grew during the first month, after which a noticeable fall could be seen in this figure from 3% to -1% over the next 5 months, after which it remainedmonths after which it remained stable at approximately -0.5% before increasing from 0.5% in October to 1.5% in Decemberincreasing from -1% to 2%.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay successfully covers the main visual trends across all three metals and supports descriptions with specific data points. However, the report contains contradictory statements in the overview paragraph and some imprecise figures in the detailed sections. To improve, focus on providing a clearer, accurate overview sentence and refining grammatical phrasing around percentage comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main trends and key figures for all three metals are present, but the overall summary contains contradictory statements regarding nickel's movements.
Ensure the overview highlight accurately contrasts key features without contradicting itself in consecutive sentences.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into distinct paragraphs per metal, though transitions between trend descriptions feel slightly repetitive.
Vary cohesive devices and sentence beginnings to avoid overusing repetitive linkers like 'moreover' and 'after which'.
Lexical Resource
The response uses an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, though there are inaccurate word choices such as 'fluctuated steadily' and 'seasonal changing'.
Practice using precise trend vocabulary and natural collocations, such as 'dramatic fluctuations' or 'steady decline'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is attempted with general clarity, but grammatical errors and awkward phrasing recur throughout.
Refine complex noun phrases and subject-verb agreements when citing specific percentage changes across timelines.